Episode 62

Task Initiation: Executive Function and ADHD

I can not explain what ADHD is without discussing Executive Function, because executive functioning is the CEO of our brain. You use it to run your life: your productivity, efficiency, family, work, friendship, including every single decision you make, from career choices to when to brush your teeth. Episode 53 covers the basics of EF and now we will focus on Task Initiation. Or the lack thereof, being the hallmark of ADHD. How does it affect an ADHD adult? Let's learn about our ADHD brains.

To strengthen your task initiation skills, I am giving you The Disorganized Mom’s Guide to a Peaceful Morning for free. Please let me know how your mornings are better after trying this on for size!

For items & details mentioned during the podcast, check the Show Notes.

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episode transcript:

- (0s): Do you often put off a five minute phone call for five weeks? Is your annual checkup 4 months overdue? Have you ever let your car inspection or a driver's license expire, even though you knew it was time to do it? These are all part of your Executive Function: specifically Task Initiation. Get ready to learn about your brain. <music> Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD! I'm your friend, Patricia Sung. My mission is to be a lighthouse for mothers with ADHD, helping you find your path to success by learning to appreciate your ADHD as an asset. - (38s): I'm seeking to change the paradigm that ADHD means your life is doom to be a hot mess! So I'm sharing strategies and encouraging you in your pursuit of happiness to love who you are every day of your ADHD life. <music> Hey there a successful mama! It's your friend, Patricia. We are back on our executive functions series because Executive Function is basically the CEO of your brain. - (1m 13s): And I can not explain ADHD to people without discussing Executive Function. If you're not familiar with Executive Function, you can listen to the first episode in the series, which was number 53 for an overview. We are covering a variety of executive function pieces in the series. And today we're specifically talking about Task Initiation. Now the word "Initiation", the definition is the action of beginning something. So basically the action of starting any task at all is governed by our brains, our Executive Function. - (1m 48s): Simply put the actual action of starting is a hurdle that we have in getting things done. Now, how does this show up as an adult with ADHD? Not making that "simple phone call" to make an appointment... Not paying your bills, because then you have to actually sit down and look at your money... knowing that you need to do something, but you aren't sure where to start. And it feels overwhelming. Sometimes it's simply just missing that inertia to change course. We are excellent examples of Newton's first law of motion, which is a body at rest stays at rest, and a body in motion stays in motion, until it's acted on by some kind of force. - (2m 27s): And we have a missing force. That's your executive function. It's not functioning. We have a dysfunction there. So you'll see where you keep sitting on the couch, watching Netflix, because it just keeps popping up the next show. When you just keep doing that and you stay on that course of watching Netflix, because you just stay in that place. You don't make a change. It's harder for you to push through and have that force that says, "Oh, Hey, maybe you should be doing something else besides watching TV right now!" - (2m 59s): Or from the hyperactive side, if you're just moving, moving, moving, going, going, going. And if you don't have something there to say, "Hey, you need to stop. You have to slow down. Now it is time for sleeping." Then your body won't stop. Your brain won't stop because it keeps moving. We have that missing force that either gives us the swift kick in the rear to get going, or the swift quick in the rear who says, "Hey, quit doing that!" Now, what are some of the things that drive this issue? One of them is fear. Fear of the unknown, or maybe you have some PTSD, where you made the wrong choice before, and you had negative feedback in the past. - (3m 34s): And so now you're afraid to make a decision. Again, those will keep you from enacting on a force, keep you from moving forward or changing course. Maybe it's overwhelm, maybe its too many options and your not sure which one to pick or where to start. It just feels really big. And your not quite sure what's the right thing to do next. It all just feels... Big. It all feels important. Your brain is not good at prioritizing, (which we're gonna talk about soon) and you're not quite sure where to go next. - (4m 4s): So you're just not doing anything, because you're not sure what's next. Maybe you have analysis paralysis where you've researched all of the things and your not sure which ones the right ones or your perfectionism is keeping you from picking something. Cause you feel you have to know exactly the right choice, so you don't mess it up, before you can move forward. Transitions are a killer for ADHD. Anytime you have to make a modification to what you're currently doing, it is hard. Now a lot of people will interpret this as you don't care, you're a dumb or lazy or unmotivated or messy because you don't make a change. - (4m 41s): On the flip side, they might see you as anal-retentive or a perfectionist, how it has to be *just the right way*. And you have to know exactly what you're getting into in order to move forward. Now I have worked A LOT on this. I have overcome a lot of mindset issues in this area and I am working really hard on letting go of my perfectionism in learning to be okay with okay, that good enough is good enough. I'm also creating habits so that when I feel myself in that rut of another Netflix show popping up, that I'm starting to create a structure and a habit in my brain where my brain will say, "Hey, is this really what you want to be doing right now?" - (5m 24s): And I'm getting better about -- when I know my answer is "No, this isn't what I want to be doing" -- about moving, even though I don't want to. These are habits that we can develop. It is hard work. It is not something that comes naturally to us, but we can make a difference. I know that a lot of these issues are rooted in my perfectionism, that coping skill that I developed as a child in order to overcome my ADHD is that if I do everything perfectly and I check it 500 times, then I know I didn't mess up and make "careless mistakes", which they weren't careless because I checked it 500 times. - (6m 2s): My brain just didn't see it, but I have to let that go because something that is done is better than perfect. I don't have to hold on to that childhood coping mechanism forever. Like Adult-Patricia can pick something different and do it a different way. Now, granted, this was a lot of therapy. If you want to listen to what I learned on that, that was our episodes, 41 and 43. So I'm practicing things. Like before I would have to rehearse an entire conversation in my head 15 times to know exactly what I was going to say and think of every, what if, and that is a huge time suck. - (6m 37s): Now I'm learning that. I need to think about my main points. I need to write down those things. I need to write down my questions so that I can check my paper and have that note in front of me, but I don't have to rehearse a million times. There are better strategies to get a similar goal that will be much faster than practicing is a conversation 15 times in my head because the conversation never goes the way that I thought it was going to anyways. So then it ends up not really being useful. I knew that I felt better and confident in approaching it after the, all the practice, but it wasn't really relevant practice. - (7m 14s): So I'm changing that. Going back to like, the flip side of, like, not moving, I am working right now on going to bed earlier. My son just started school he's in kindergarten and we had to be up super early and I can't be going to bed at midnight, one, two, like I want to, because I've got to be up before the sun because my five year old can't get ready for school by himself. Right? So I have motivation here to get up in the morning, but that means that I have to take care of myself by going to bed earlier. - (7m 43s): So hard! Not my strong point, but I'm working really hard on this. So what am I doing differently? And I am trying not to start any new projects after the kids go to bed. They go to bed, I clean up and I get ready for bed because I know that if I, either, 1) start working on something, like, I'll start working on something for an Instagram post or, you know, start taking notes for a podcast that I want to record. And I know that I won't turn off at the designated time. - (8m 13s): I'll be like, Oh, I'll just work on this for 30 minutes. No, I won't. Let's just be honest with ourselves here. No, I won't, so I don't start those things that I know I can't let go of quickly. I also try not to turn on the TV because I won't stop a show in the middle. You know, I used to sit on the bed and fold laundry and watch a show because it made folding laundry tolerable. But I realized that I was putting off the laundry because I thought it took so long. And really it doesn't, it only takes me like 10 or 15 minutes into the show. - (8m 46s): And then I still sit there and watch the other 45 minutes of the show when I should be sleeping. So it's being aware of these areas that are repetitively hard for you. You can start to break those patterns. So that's my first hack, is knowing where is it hard for you? I know that starting a TV show before bed means I'm going to finish it. And I might actually watch the next Episode too. I realistically want to be up for two more hours. Okay. Then I can decide whether or not I'm going to watch this show or if I really want to work on something for the podcast, like I'll make the decision of like, okay, maybe one night a week, I'll let myself stay up and work on something because I really want to get it done. - (9m 23s): And I did that last night. I really wanted to get this thing done. I was working hard on it and I wanted to finish it. Cause it was really excited about it. One of the things I learned from Kristen Carder's podcast, which is I Have ADHD, it was her episode on going to bed "on time," which is different for everyone. Is that I would tell myself that I didn't get enough stuff done during the day and that I needed to stay up and get more things done in order to like reach this ideal, that level of productivity. And she talks about how you have to be, be forgiving with yourself and say, "you know what? I did a lot of good stuff today and that is good enough. - (9m 55s): And now I am stopping." Because of with ADHD, we will keep going. For me, I'm not a hyperactive person in my body. Yes, but my mind is a hyperactive mind and I will keep going until another force acts upon it. And so I have had to set a boundary of, I will not start projects at the end of the night because I told myself that I didn't do a good enough job earlier. I did. I got a lot of stuff done. I kept to humans alive. That's a good day. I'll try again tomorrow. And another awareness factor is I've started asking myself when I realize I'm getting sucked into something that I don't really want to get sucked into. - (10m 31s): I asked myself, is this my priority right now? Is this important? And just creating that awareness. I know it sounds weird. The more you think about something, the more your brain kind of like grabs onto it. And you're like, it's like planting seeds, you're planting seeds. And it takes a really long time to see the seedlings come up and like actually grow some vegetables, but you will get there. So planting that seed of: is this really what I wanted to be doing right now? Okay. No, I don't. If I'm like scrolling through Instagram or I'm like replying to like a group message, like, do you really need to be on your phone right now? - (11m 4s): No. Put it down. Face down, move on. I also like Mel Robbins, you can follow her on Instagram. She has her 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 rule of like, if you are stuck and you're not doing something that you need to do, you count down, you literally say to yourself, five, four, three, two, one, and then you just do the action. So its like your own personal countdown to like, okay. And I'm doing something different now. So it gets that Task Initiation kick in the pants, like blastin' off a rocket ship. But you just made it up yourself. I really like that one when you're feeling overwhelmed, break it down into tiny steps, smaller than tiny steps. - (11m 40s): Like baby steps, like little bitty pieces. If you need to draw it out on a big piece of paper of what needs to happen, I love brain dumping that way. And then I can see, okay, what really needs to happen first? I can just sort it out better with when it's on paper in front of me. As opposed to like in my mind, all the steps are just jumbled up together and I don't know which one's important, but if I can look at them all on the paper, then it's easier for me to say, okay, like this thing needs to happen first. This one, okay. That's you know, at least step five, we can push that forward. - (12m 11s): Another hack is figuring out your key habit. This is from atomic habits, which I love that book. You can listen to that: Episode 58, I believe. There is one little key item that if you do it, we'll send you on the right track. So like for example, if you want to work out, when you come home from work, are you changing into your comfy, like, I'm watching TV clothes, or are you changing into your workout clothes? So that you'll actually go on a walk after dinner, finding that key habit. That's going to send you in the right direction. - (12m 42s): Now Task Initiation for boring tasks: I time block. So on my schedule, I have set days to do lame boring things like for me Monday is stuff around the house. So if I need to do things like change the air filters on the AC or this kind of mundane things that you're like, Oh yeah, I should do that one day. And they don't ever get done those. Go on my list for Monday, if there are at the house. Phone calls are on usually Wednesday because I hate making phone calls. And if you ever follow the FlyLady, she has Wednesday, is what she calls anti procrastination day. - (13m 15s): So there's anything you've been putting off, tackle that on a Wednesday. So just clumping those things together of like, I'll just sit down and make like five phone calls in a row, schedule all the doctor's appointments and call the for the thing... question on the bill, all of that, just knock it out at one time. And that way they're not like bogging you down all the time. You just knock them a lot at once. Obviously I'm a huge believer in doing therapy. So if you can do some cognitive behavioral therapy, highly recommend that it really can help you work through your past and the coping mechanisms that your hanging on to, that are not good for you. - (13m 49s): Next I would automate everything you can, especially when it comes to your money. If you need money, help paying your bills, putting money in your savings account. I did a whole series on Wise Money Management for ADHD: it's episodes, 22, 23, and 24. We talk about automating things so that you are not dependent on YOU getting them done already set up the system and they happen automatically. And another good Task Initiation is a body double moving. So for example, if you're trying to get up earlier and your spouse or your roommate gets up earlier, get up with them. - (14m 21s): When your spouse or roommate is going to bed, you go to bed. I've been meaning to try focusmate. I haven't tried that yet, but I think that would be a really great help for Task Initiation and then of course the dreaded R word: routines. I know so many people with ADHD hate the word routine and yet they are so, so good for us. They're so good for us. They're like sweet honey to The soul. I am actually working on some resources for you on creating routines that work for ADHD minds, creating that scaffolding for you, which is a teacher word. - (14m 55s): For like helping somebody build up their skills without actually like holding them up yourself. But like helping them build up just like a scaffolding, when you are working on a building, your scaffolding does not hold the building up. The scaffolding like kind of protects everything and allows you to do the work, keeps, you know, tools from falling onto people's heads below, but it doesn't build the building. It's just there to help. Step 1 of that is I am currently writing The Disorganized Mom's Guide to a Peaceful Morning. So, if you want to get on that, we're going to do a Peaceful Mama Morning Challenge. - (15m 28s): Whenever we launch, we'll all do it together. And then it'll be there for other people to join in as well as we go. I'd love to have you in there with me, to make our momma mornings more peaceful more calm, more prepared. So you can sign up for that. Like I said, I'm still working on it. We haven't started yet, but it is in the podcast description. You can click on the link there to sign up. So when I'm ready, you're ready. We're all in together. Or are you can head over to my website. I have all the links there too. So Task Initiation is a struggle bus for the ADHD brain, but we have a lot of strategies that we can put into place. - (16m 6s): So homework for this week is just do a little marinating on this. Write in your calendar somewhere this week where you've got a spare five minutes where you're like waiting for something, driving somewhere, this will be the thing that you think about. Where are the times where, you know, you see the pattern where you are either not moving and you need to move, or you're moving and you need to stop moving. Where are those patterns in your life? Where do you want to make the changes? Do you want to go to bed earlier? Do you want to get up earlier? Do you want to not be watching Netflix in the middle of the day? - (16m 40s): Do you want, like, what is it, what are you struggling with? Think about those times where you get stuck. Inertia force is not moving you. These are the patterns that you can start to do something about. We can make our lives better. We can do good things, mama. We can do hard things. We can do amazing things. If we're willing to put in the work. Persistence, persistence, persistence, we will get there. So mama, we are gonna continue talking about Executive Function in the upcoming weeks and I am praying for you that you have a beautiful September. - (17m 15s): And if you have school aged kids, be sure to head over to the website and grab the downloadable checklist on things you can do to prepare for in-person and virtual learning. And if you don't have kids in school, I am praying that your quarantine household is staying sane and healthy as well. Having an amazing week successful mama. And we'll talk soon. Thank you for listening to Motherhood in ADHD! For more resources, head over to our website, www.motherhoodinadhd.com.