Yes, You Can Thrive With Adult Inattentive ADHD! (Here’s How)
If you have inattentive ADHD, you might relate to moments like this…
Your friend is looking at you expectantly.
S#!+! Your brain “went offline” again and you missed the last 30 seconds of what she was saying.
You quickly search your brain for a generic response, and land on “oh wow!”.
“I know!!” She replies.
Whew! She’s not on to your little brain lapse.
You didn’t mean to stop listening. Your brain just does that sometimes. This time, you noticed your friend’s curly hair and that caused you to wonder if you remembered to turn off the curling iron at home.
Your attention was so focused on that internal thought, her voice began to fade out and you stopped listening to her.
Trouble listening and being easily distracted – those are just two struggles adults with inattentive type ADHD deal with every day.
But inattentive ADHD doesn’t have to hold you back!
In this post, we’ll talk about the signs of inattentive ADHD, treatment options and how to manage it with a few helpful strategies.
What is Inattentive ADHD? (A Simple Definition)
Inattentive-type ADHD is a subtype of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder where the symptom of inattention is most prominent, and there is little or no outward hyperactivity or impulsivity. In some cases, hyperactivity is still present but is internalized, as in the person experiences racing thoughts.
Adults with inattentive ADHD are very easily distracted, lose important items frequently, struggle to pay attention to detail and may seem “off in space”.
Next, we’ll talk about how inattentive-type ADHD is different from other types of ADHD.
How does Inattentive ADHD Differ from ADHD?
There are three main subtypes of ADHD:
Primarily Hyperactive/Impulsive Presentation: If you have this type, your most dominant symptom is hyperactivity and impulsivity, but you still struggle with inattention.
Combined Presentation: If you have combined ADHD, you experience both the hyperactive/impulsive elements of ADHD, as well as the inattentive aspects.
Primarily Inattentive Presentation: With this subtype, you struggle most with inattention, and symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsivity are less impactful or may not be not present at all.
Unsure which type fits you most? Connect with a therapist, psychiatrist or general practitioner - they can conduct an ADHD screening to help you better understand your symptoms.
What Does Inattentive ADHD Look Like in Women? (And Why Are Women Often Misdiagnosed?)
Women tend to be diagnosed with ADHD much later in life than men.
Why is that?
Research suggests it could be because women often (but not always) present with predominantly inattentive ADHD symptoms, which are less disruptive in the classroom (thus, less clinical referrals for inattentive young girls).
Women also are socialized to be more organized and detail oriented – and when you’re a smart cookie, you develop tips and tricks to cope with and hide your inattentive struggles from others. (They don’t know how hard you’re working behind the scenes just to keep it all together!)
But being a smarty-pants woman or girl and intuitively managing your inattentive ADHD comes with a price.
There are inevitably times where you drop the ball, sometimes in a big way.
And when that happens, women with inattentive ADHD blame themselves – creating a loud, critical internal narrator.
This self-blame can cause persistent anxiety and depression in these women, resulting in a misdiagnosis of these mental illnesses, when they are actually comorbidities to a primary diagnosis of ADHD.
So what does inattentive ADHD look like in women?
You might have inattentive-type ADHD if…
You’re known for excessive daydreaming and always being “off in space”
Focusing is a challenge because you’re easily distracted by external or internal stimuli (Your brain is an interesting place!)
You could never pay attention during class, but passed by cramming at the last minute
You frequently misplace or lose important items like your keys, wallet, purse and phone (They seem to just “disappear” when you just had them a second ago)
Your friend or partner gets irritated with you because sometimes you stop listening to them in the middle of a conversation (you don’t mean to!)
You’re forgetful - You leave the stove on, forget food is in the oven, load the dishwasher but forget to turn it on, or even leave your car door or trunk open (This usually happens because you get distracted)
Staying organized is difficult - clutter tends to pile up in your living or work spaces and you’re unsure how it got there or what to do about it
You find it hard to multitask - for example, if someone is talking to you while you’re working, you’ll make mistakes on your work (or you won’t be able to fully listen to the person - you can’t divide your attention)
You can hyperfocus on tasks that fascinate you but find it near impossible to focus on boring tasks - and you tend to avoid or procrastinate tasks that require sustained focus
You struggle to pay attention to detail (resulting in mistakes in your work despite checking it multiple times)
It’s distressing to you when a lot of things are happening at once, and sometimes you shut down mentally or lash out in anger when this happens
You attribute all these issues to being a flawed and defective person, causing anxiety and depression
It’s important to realize these issues are NOT your fault, and they stem from having a brain that works differently.
If you want to take a closer look at ADHD symptoms in women, download this free checklist:
Inattentive ADHD Treatment Options
If you have inattentive-type ADHD, what treatment options are available?
Let’s go over a few.
Medication
Are stimulants just for people with hyperactive/impulsive symptoms?
Not necessarily.
Inattentive ADHDers have busy, distractible minds and stimulant medication can help increase focus.
A few commonly prescribed stimulants for ADHD include (but are not limited to):
Adderall
Vyvanse
Focalin
Ritalin
Concerta
These ADHD medications work by increasing the neurotransmitters in your brain called dopamine and norepinephrine, which help increase mental clarity, focus and motivation.
Some non-stimulant medications are also used to treat inattentive ADHD, including antidepressants like Strattera and Wellbutrin. These work by increasing serotonin in your brain - the hormone that regulates your mood.
For help figuring out if medication is right for you, consult your psychiatrist or general practitioner.
Therapy
Certain types of therapy can help you manage your symptoms and cope with the difficult emotions that come with having ADHD. Therapy is focused on resolving past or current issues that are negatively affecting your daily life.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps you identify thought patterns and challenge problematic thoughts like “I’m lazy” or “I’m worthless” and create more healthy, adaptive ways of thinking.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is similar to CBT, but with an emphasis on mindfulness skills. Learning how to connect to the present moment through mindfulness practice helps increase awareness of your thoughts, emotions and physical sensations, reducing impulsivity and helping regulate your emotions.
ADHD Coaching
Similar to a therapist, ADHD coaches can help you identify and reframe limiting or harmful beliefs. ADHD Coaching is focused on helping you move forward on your goals.
ADHD coaches often have ADHD as well, and have developed strategies to manage it. They’re eager to teach you those skills as well as empathize with your shared experience.
If you’re dealing with more severe depression or anxiety, it may be a better idea to consult a therapist - but there’s also nothing wrong with having both a coach and a counselor in your corner.
Now that you understand the symptoms and treatment options for inattentive-type ADHD, let’s get into some strategies to help you manage it!
5+ Inattentive ADHD Struggles in Adults (+ Strategies That Work!)
“Treatments” like medication and therapy are valid options for dealing with inattentive ADHD, but what are some practical strategies you can use today to help reduce your daily struggles?
The following are 5 common struggles that come with inattentive ADHD, along with strategies for managing them.
1. Inattention
Inattention is the hallmark symptom of inattentive-type ADHD.
While it may sound harmless, the inability to pay attention can have a negative impact on work, school and in relationships.
It can even be a health hazard! (Ever been driving and suddenly you arrive at your destination, not remembering how you got there because you were zoned out?)
It’s important to realize that inattention is a natural trait that you cannot just “get rid of”. So strategies for dealing with it are more about developing an awareness of your inattention and the ways it’s negatively affecting your life.
Here are some strategies that help with inattention:
Journaling - Writing about your day increases your awareness of your inattention (So you can brainstorm solutions).
Capturing information - Use technology to capture information somewhere other than your brain. For example, record and transcribe meetings via your phone.
Fidget toys - Doing something with your hands helps decrease boredom during meetings, and they’re discreet!
Create routines around problem areas - If you struggle with leaving the stove on, create a habit of staying in the kitchen until the cooking is done. If you keep forgetting if you took your medication or not, turn the bottle upside down each time you take it.
2. Distraction
Being super distractible also comes with the territory of having inattentive ADHD. And it’s not just external distractions (The old, “Oh look, a squirrel!” meme).
People with inattentive type ADHD are prone to internal distractions as well - after all, our minds are interesting places and we have vivid imaginations.
So how do you deal with distraction when the world and your own mind are just so damn interesting?
Here are a few strategies:
Engineer distraction-free work zones - Be intentional when you set up work spaces and when you sit down to work. Put your phone on “focus mode” or “do not disturb” and in a drawer, use apps like Freedom to limit your ability to surf the web while working.
Listen to music - Listen to instrumental music while working to quiet distracting thoughts.
Set short alarms - Sure, you set alarms for big events, but you can even set alarms for little things, like making sure you switch over the laundry. This is especially helpful for tasks that require a waiting period (during which you tend to get distracted and forget about it!).
Use an app - For example, Llama Life, an app created by an ADHDer, helps you create lists, and use the concept of “time boxing” to actually focus and get them done.
3. Not Noticing Details (And Making Mistakes Because of It)
Those of us with inattentive ADHD tend to gloss over small details. But even simple mistakes - like putting an extra zero on your bank withdrawal slip, for marking the wrong box on a tax form can cause huge problems.
Here are a few ideas for training your brain to pay attention to detail:
Double and triple check your work - If you know there are areas where you tend to make the same lack-of-attention-related mistakes, start double and triple checking your work in those areas. For example, if you have missed appointments because you wrote down the wrong time or day, vocally confirm the day and time and cross-reference it in your calendar while you’re on the phone with the person making your appointment. Sometimes you need to do this 2 or 3 times, and that is okay! It’s also helpful to look back at your projects the next day with fresh eyes and a clear mind, so you're more likely to catch small mistakes.
Ask someone else to check your work before submitting it - If you have an important document or work report due, ask a friend or co-worker to look it over before you turn it in. They will likely catch the small mistakes you missed.
Send confirmation emails - Send an email to confirm the details or a project, or after an important meeting. Summarize the meeting or project instructions and ask if you missed anything.
4. Forgetfulness
Forgetfulness is very common in people with inattentive ADHD, and it can cause a lot of shame. If you forget your partner’s birthday, or completely space a coffee date with your friend, it makes you look like you don’t care (when nothing could be further from the truth!).
The good news is, there are ways you can prevent forgetfulness. Here are a few:
Build a second brain - Use note taking apps like Otter or Evernote, or even just a small notebook and pen to transfer information from your brain into a second source. Some people with ADHD prefer a paper planner, like Erin Condren, to visibly see information laid out. Just make sure you don’t lose that source (that’s why digital apps can be better than physical ones for some ADHD-ers).
Use the crap out of calendars and reminders - Anytime you schedule an appointment, immediately put it on your digital calendar. Most digital calendars sync with your phone and will remind you at different intervals. But if you’re capable of spacing out an appointment even when it’s on your calendar, go a step further and set a reminder the morning of, and/or the night before, and then set alarms at different intervals throughout the day. Trust me when I say, over-do it with alarms and reminders!! Another helpful tip: Make the sounds/rings different so you don’t tune them out!
Make lists of items you need - You can make lists for anything. Grocery shopping, or just a trip to the park. Making the list before you are in a hurried state of mind helps ensure you don’t forget anything. You can check the list when you’re ready to leave your house, and also when you’re coming back home from your destination.
5. Losing Your Stuff
Do you ever feel like the best magician on the planet because you can make things disappear?
Your phone was in your hand two seconds ago, and now it’s completely gone.
Inattentive ADHDer lose items because they simply were not paying attention when they set it down.
So how do you keep track of important items?
Find a “home” for everything - Sounds simplistic, but having a designated area for your items will help you find them better. For example, hang your purse on a hook by the door as soon as you walk in.
Make more lists - Yep, lists help in multiple problem areas. You can create specific lists for specific outings like “list for going to the pool” or “list for soccer practice”. Check the list when you leave, and before you head home from the destination.
Lay things out in advance - If you know you’re going somewhere the next morning, lay everything out for the next day. This avoids the “mad scramble” if you’re running late and your brain is in a dysregulated state - so you’re more prone to forgetting something.
6. Overwhelm
Do you tend to shut down when too many things are happening at once?
Like you’re trying to pack for an out of town trip, and your family keeps coming in and asking you about different, unrelated tasks? “Why do volcanoes explode, Mom?”
Or you’re at work and your co-workers keep pulling you in different directions?
If you have inattentive ADHD, you are likely sensitive to too much external stimuli - some call this becoming “overstimulated”.
It can cause you to shut down, have an emotional meltdown or lash out in anger.
Here are a few tips for avoiding overwhelm:
Set boundaries - It’s not easy to tell people to wait, or to say “no, I’m sorry I can’t do that”. But it’s a necessity when it comes to preventing overwhelm. Let people know you care about their needs but you’re at max capacity at the moment. “Hey, I know this is really important to you but I cannot do it at the moment. I will let you know as soon as I have capacity!”
Take a time out - If you feel dysregulated emotionally - as in you’re crying, having an anxiety attack, becoming angry or shutting down, step away from the situation. Even if it’s just for a minute or two. Take some deep breaths, and connect with the present moment by dropping your attention from your brain into your body. If you need extra support, check out my low cost private podcast, Slow Down, Be Present for anxiety and sleep support.
Just say no - Stop overcommitting. You don’t have to say “yes” to everyone who asks you to do something. I know it’s scary when you’re a people pleaser, but saying “no” to additional tasks when your plate is already full is a crucial form of self-care. There are ways to be kind about saying no, and if the person is a true friend, they will understand.
Want to learn more about Adult ADHD inattentive type, especially in women?
Download this handy Checklist of ADHD Symptoms in Women.
If you’re struggling to manage life with ADHD, a combination of medical treatment and coaching can help improve your symptoms and lifestyle.
As a coach for moms with ADHD, I’ve helped hundreds of women with daily planning, time management, motivation and more.
Learn more about my coaching and courses here. Download your free ADHD in Women Checklist to set yourself up to feel confident at your next doctor appointment.
You don’t have to do this alone. The support you need is available!