Why I Choose to take ADHD Medication and My Journey for the Best ADHD Treatment Plan #142
How do you feel about ADHD medication?
Are you taking it? Does it help you focus and thrive?
Or are you medication-curious, and a little freaked out about it? That’s totally okay.
Are you anti-medicine? That's alright, too.
Most ADHDers who are new to medication have a LOT of questions, like:
- How does ADHD medicine feel?
- How do you know if your ADHD medication is working?
- How do you decide if medication is the right choice?
On the Motherhood in ADHD podcast, we’re kicking off “Medication May” (and probably a bit of June too!), by giving you the complete low-down on ADHD medication, so you can make the choice that’s right for you.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
- Why I choose to take medicine, and my personal experience with different types of ADHD medication over the past 20 years
- Why I stopped taking medication in the past, and how I managed without it
- The unnecessary shame and embarrassment many ADHDers feel when seeking ADHD meds (Let’s break the stigma, shall we?!)
- How to tackle the fears and “what ifs” around taking medication by becoming as informed as possible
- How ADHD medication isn’t a “magic wand” that solves all your problems – and additional ways to support yourself
- The difference between stimulant and non-stimulant ADHD medication (and my experience with both)
- Why it’s okay to start and stop medication (and how to work with your doctor to do this safely)
- Answers to the most frequent questions asked by listeners
- And more!
Let me be clear: This is not medical advice. I'm not here to tell you what you should or should not do.
My goal in sharing my treatment journey is to share with you as much knowledge and confidence as possible, so you can decide if ADHD medicine is an option you'd like to try. Because you are the only one who can decide what is best for you.
This material is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your doctor or a trained medical professional to find the treatment plan that best fits your personal situation.
Lower your stress and learn how to create a rhythm for your day with Time Management Mastery for Moms with ADHD.
Over the next 11 weeks, you’ll create a flexible framework for your day that’s fluid enough for your ADHD brain to stick with, and structured enough to feel like you’re in control.
Join today by visiting this link: bit.ly/adhdframework
Join Christina’s course, DIY * ADHD
Patricia Sung 00:00
I now take medicine because I prefer that Medusa mom does not show up every night at bedtime is usually the week before my cycle starts. Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy. You can figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I get your mama, parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life creatively, lovingly and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully, and in turn, lead our families well, at the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. but spoiler alert, you are already a great mom. ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess mama, you can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story. And I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on.
Patricia Sung 01:13
Welcome to motherhood in ADHD. Hey there successful mama. It's your friend Patricia Sung, I got a little something special planned for Mother's Day, which this year in the US is May 8. And to get that sweet deal. Go check your inbox. I've emailed you what's going on for daily planning and time edge mastery for ADHD moms. Now if you're not getting my emails, what are you waiting for? I send good stuff. You can join the email list by either taking the quiz, what's your ADHD mama parenting style, because you're not your average mama bear at Patricia sung.com forward slash quiz or grab any other free resources on my website at Patricia sung.com forward slash resources. So run on over there and find out whatever it is my brain cooked up this week, because you deserve to have something wonderful for Mother's Day. And if no one else did, I'm sending a little help so that you can take care of yourself so that you can give the best version of you to your family.
Patricia Sung 02:09
Well, it is medicine may and probably a little bit of June. In this month, I'm dedicating the episodes of the podcast to sharing quality information, debunking myths and helping you figure out what you want to do about taking ADHD medication. Now in three years, I have avoided this topic because I was scared. As soon as you start talking about medicine, all the haters show up and start trolling. So I want to be clear, this material is not intended to be medical advice. This series, the entire goal is not to tell you what to do, or you should do this, you should do that. I can't decide that for you. I don't know your medical history or your values or your coexisting medical conditions. And even if I did, not a doctor, I'm a girl with a lot of personal experience who does a mountain of research. And I want you to do the same. Investigate research, don't take my word for it. Find a trained medical professional who has experience with ADHD to help you consult with your doctor and find the treatment plan that makes the best sense to fit your situation. Because you are the only one who can decide what's best for you.
Patricia Sung 03:21
When we have ADHD, we have spent a lot of time in our lives and being told that our perception of reality is wrong. And that leads to a lot of self doubt and lack of trust in our own decisions, then I want to change that. My goal is to arm you with as much information and knowledge and confidence that I can. I want you to decide to take or not take medicine because you are fully comfortable and competent in your decision. So many people with ADHD are not getting the best treatment out there because of lack of information, misleading information, or quite frankly, straight up BS on the internet. And by word of mouth.
Patricia Sung 04:04
On top of that there is so much shame and embarrassment about having ADHD and treating ADHD and that includes taking medicine for your mental health. So when you show up at your doctor's office to ask about what your medicine options are, I want you to know what kinds of questions to ask. When you're talking to a provider that maybe doesn't know as much as you had hoped that you can recognize that lack of experience or knowledge and know that you will be better served to seek out a second opinion. I want you to feel empowered when you talk to your doctor to set up your treatment plan.
Patricia Sung 04:38
So with that being said, let's dive into today's episode about ADHD medication. So to kick off this series, today I'm talking to you about why I choose to take medicine. I'll tell you about the times where I have not taken medicine the times that I have and a little bit about my story. I know it always feels a little bit more solid when you have some ones personal experience to go on. Now, what I did is not necessarily going to be right for you, and probably it's not flat out, whatever I did is not going to be exactly what you would do as well. But I want to normalize the process, it takes the changes that are made, how life ebbs and flows and how different situations call for different things. And understanding that it's not like a magic fairy wand, where you just figure it out. And it all works out. You sure there's a few people that find a solution easily and quickly.
Patricia Sung 05:31
But for most of us, we have to do some searching. And not only we're going to talk about how my experience has gone, but I also want to hit a couple of basic questions that I get asked a lot. And then over the next few weeks, we'll meet a couple of experts that are going to help us unravel this whole situation and how we make the best decision for us. And we'll be debunking myths and going through some of my favorite tips and strategies to make the medicine process as smooth of a transition as you can.
Patricia Sung 05:57
Now in having talked with 1000s of people who have ADHD, generally speaking, the people who are not taking medicine fall into roughly three groups, there's one group where medicine is not an option for them. Some people genuinely just don't have a benefit for medicine. And it's a small group, it's usually 20 30% of people. Maybe they're also people who due to other medical conditions don't have the option to take an ADHD medicine, or perhaps it's cost prohibitive. And unfortunately for some people, the care in their area does not allow them the privilege of taking medicine, but for these people really just isn't an option at this stage. If that is you, I want to encourage you that just because you can't take medicine doesn't mean that you're at a disadvantage. When we choose to take medicine. That's one tool in our toolbox. If you're missing just one tool, you'll be alright, you can figure out other ways to make it work.
Patricia Sung 06:54
The way that we treat our ADHD is so multifaceted, the list is very long, of all the different options, we have to take better care of ourselves. So if it turns out that medicine doesn't work for you, all, hope is not lost, you can still have a very successful life, even though you're not taking medicine, I've spent many years without taking ADHD medicine. And I know right, it's not the end all be all requirement by any means.
Patricia Sung 07:19
Now group two is the people that you know what, this just doesn't match your value system. And I am not here to change your value system. If you are not interested in taking medicine, because it doesn't fit with what you think is important as a person, that's totally fine. I do hope that you will still listen to the series so that you can be armed with this knowledge in helping the people around you who may find that medicine is something that they want to dive into. And I think whenever we hear another perspective, that helps us broaden our perspective, because what works for me, isn't going to be what works for you, or the next person or that person over here. We all have different situations.
Patricia Sung 08:01
Now in the third group of people who aren't taking medicine, they haven't started yet. Why? Usually because of fear, all the what ifs that our brain is so good at coming up with our anxiety starts going and we think about what if this happens? What if that happens? And what if this happens in 30 years, their side effects? How am I gonna afford this? There's a lot of stigma. I'm worried about this. So we send ourselves down this rabbit hole of worry and concern. And all that spinning doesn't get us anywhere except more anxious.
Patricia Sung 08:36
So here we're going to tackle those fears and figure out what makes sense to truly be worried about what should I actually be concerned about? What are the questions I should be asking my doctor in order to determine if these side effects are a serious issue that I do need to take into account? And how do we tackle that fear? It's by knowledge, by quality information, quality resources, leaning in and digging in and finding the answers so that we can be confident in our decision. But of course, there's always some faith involved, because we won't know what happens until we actually try. And we'll talk about that process as well.
Patricia Sung 09:11
One of the areas that I often hear you all asking me about sending me DMS about is I don't want to be dependent on them. I don't want to have to take them this like shame and embarrassment associated with being dependent on something else. And I have had to work through all that. And now I don't look at it is I have to take medicine. I look at it as a privilege. I get to take medicine, I have the choice to pick that treatment or not. And I'm very well aware that it is a privilege and a luxury that I am afforded because of many different reasons.
Patricia Sung 09:47
I get that choice. And I appreciate that I have the option to have help with that emotional roller coaster. That gives me time to pause that allows the fog to lift For me to think a little clearer, it lowers the sensory input. And instead of the equivalent of trying to learn how to do algebra for the first time in Time Square with the lights and the noise, and the people just like so much input right in, when I take my medicine, then I'm learning algebra, but in a place where I feel comfy learning. So where's the place that you enjoy? Learning something new is that the comfort of your bed or a library or coffee shop or sitting outside, like wherever you feel safe and comfortable, that environment that makes it more conducive to learning. That's what medicine gives you. It doesn't make learning algebra easier. It doesn't mean that you don't have to learn algebra, you still have to learn how to do it, but it makes the environment in which you are learning better, easier to learn in.
Patricia Sung 10:48
Now, I used to love watching the Deadliest Catch. And when you watch the way that those ships roll on these huge waves, that is a grueling job. Fishing for crab is a grueling job no matter where you are. But if you're trying to learn how to fish for crab is called crabbing. If you're learning how to crab in the Bering Sea, in this giant storm you're being tossed around, are you going to have a better chance of learning that skill there, or when you're in the calm of the bay, and there's not the ridiculous winds and the rain and the sleet and all that having the medicine calms the waters, the wind, the rain, the sleet, and allows you to learn in a calmer environment? Because pills don't give skills. Your Medicine is just one tool in the toolbox. So when you're struggling to implement all the things that you have learned, how do I create a routine? How do I pay my bills? How do I get my finances in order? How do I stop losing my mind on my kids, when you're struggling to put all those skills into place, having medicine creates an environment that it is easier to put those skills to use to practice them to figure out how to make them work for you so that you can integrate them into your life. And there's quite a few people that after taking medicine, and getting all their skills in place will say you know what, I don't need the medicine anymore. I have the structure built, I have the scaffolding built of all my skills. And I don't need the medicine to be able to run my life in a way that makes sense for me. And that's an option, you can take it for a time, get things in order, and then stop again, if you want, I have thoughts on how you should stop in a better way than others don't cold turkey at now, but talk about later. But that's an option. And then if life starts to shift and change and seasons change, you're like whoa, I've got to put some new skills in place.
Patricia Sung 12:38
You can say, okay, now I would like to do medicine again. So that I can implement these new skills that I'm doing, maybe you have a new job or a new kid. And things are different, and you need more support. So that's an option. But in order to be successful in the world that we live in with ADHD, you have to have lots of tools in place, you need the full arrangement have the tool belt and the toolbox, you need as much support as you can get. And your medicine is just one tool. For me it's a level. Look, I'm not building anything with the level, right. But when I have a level that makes my project far more solid, far more sturdy, far more likely to withstand the usage of that project because it was built on a solid foundation. But I'm not building anything with a level. So just taking medicine is not going to solve all your problems. If you take medicine and don't have any skills to pull from, you're no farther ahead than before. Maybe like a smidge, maybe like 2% better, it's a little better. The whole point of your treatment plan is to be like as multifaceted as possible. Medicine is not a magic wand, it is not going to solve all your problems for you. Instead, it gives you the gift to make the environment of learning easier, smoother, more conducive to solidifying those habits that you're building, so that you can lean on those and know that they'll be there to support you. So I also find that the level is a really good analogy for my mood.
Patricia Sung 14:08
I now take medicine because I prefer that Medusa mom does not show up every night at bedtime is usually the week before my cycle starts. Now the medicine is about helping me be present with my family, lowering all the sensory input. So I'm not quote unquote, like going zero to 10. When really it was like all day, I went from zero to one to two to three and it's all of a sudden I'm at a nine and I don't even realize it and I hit that 10 and lose it on something that seems so simple. But when I'm taking medicine, those increments aren't quite so high like they don't bump up as quickly or as largely and I have more patience with my family. Here's the funny thing about taking medicine after a while is that you forget how much is helping you today And for some reason, you don't take it, and you realize what a mess you are, because you've gotten used to that new way of doing things. But a year and a half ago, I had to do a colonoscopy in there trying to figure out why I was not gaining weight. And you can't eat, you know, you have to take the medicine where you clear out everything, and you don't eat anything the morning and I'm like, Well, I don't really have to concentrate anything anyway, because I will be under anesthesia. And the rest of that day I was like, now I remember why I take medicine, because we often doubt after a while, I guess it's really working isn't making a difference. And then when you take a break, you're like, oh, that's what this is like. And not to say that you can live like that.
Patricia Sung 15:43
But there's definitely a stark contrast when you're used to things being easier. And then also they're not easier. And that's what I hear a lot. A lot of mamas are asking me like, how should I feel when I take medicine? Like, how do I know it's working? Like how do we know if it's good enough. And the best way I can describe it is that I have a clearer mind, there's less fog, less spinning, I there's not as much wasted time. And I have more of an awareness when I am wasting time. The medicine allows me to like hit the brakes on things and pause before I say something paused before I react. it lengthens that reaction time, the time that I have before I react it lengthens that so that I can react in a way that's more of my choosing than the impulsive, whatever my gut just falls out with. Now the little thing I noticed immediately the first day I had started medicine, after not having medicine for years, was that I was at the gym and the radio was going. And also someone had turned on the TV in the cardio area. And normally the radio and the TV together drive me absolutely bonkers. And I know immediately and I'm like how do I make this sensory nails on chalkboard stop. And that day, I realized that I had been working out for like a solid five to 10 minutes, I had not noticed that irritation.
Patricia Sung 17:07
So it's not that irritation had gone away. After a while I was like, Oh, what's that? Like? What's that noise? But it wasn't this like a visceral reaction of like, I can't even handle the presence where I was like, oh, that's kind of annoying. How do I make that stop is like that space to make a better choice to actually make a choice where I feel like when I'm not taking medicine, it's not as much of a conscious choice, it's just a lot more of like gut reaction. And the same thing that happens like, in the end of the day, when my medicines wearing off, I start to see that my patient starts to wane and things irritate me faster. And that was part of my journey in finding the right medicine was to make sure that I could get through bedtime and not be a horrible sourpuss through the bedtime routine.
Patricia Sung 17:53
So all this to say is that medicine is really helpful when you find number one, the right medicine, number two, the right dosage. And then number three, the right timing. Because if you don't have the right medicine, you're not going to feel better, you will feel messy. If it's not the right dose, then it's either not helping you, or it's making you more I guess agitated might be a good word. And when it's not the right timing, you're getting benefits for part of the day but not in others. And there's not like a smoothness to it. So you have to have all those pieces together the right medicine, the right dosage, the right timing, and it does take a while to figure that out. We'll get into that more in a little bit. Okay, a couple of quick answers that people always ask one who can prescribe medicine, you need to find a licensed medical doctor who can prescribe medicine. So you can start with your GP, your general practitioner, if you have the option with your coverage and whatever health coverage you have your insurance, your ability with access to care and all that if you can, you're gonna start with a neuro psychiatrist. So someone who specializes in brains if not any psychiatrist would be the next one. I would put the GP probably farther down in the list mostly because you want to find somebody if you can who has experience in ADHD because this is a trial and error process.
Patricia Sung 19:14
There is no magic test pls no time isn't there just a test that will tell me which one to take? No, there's no test there's no like magic wand that tells you do we need to do here Here's your medicine that you should take Patricia just for you. Here's your special formulation. It doesn't work like that. It's a trial and error. You're opening you're like Cinderella trying on the shoe train on the shoe turn on the shoot till you find the right one that fits. I guess you're like Prince Charming. He was the one trying the shoes that people but anyway, you want to find the person who has the experience because they're going to make that trial and error a whole heck of a lot easier if they know what they're doing. If they're throwing spaghetti at the wall just as much as you're throwing spaghetti at the wall and take a lot more time to figure it out. Right. This is where if you can afford to have the quality care of an expert who's well experienced this is where it pays off. It pays off in the correct diagnosis and it pays off in finding a medicine that is well suited for you much faster. They know right away whether you need things adjusted because they've seen it, they've been there. But if you can't stick with somebody who can prescribe medicine may have all my heart gone away, but any doctor can prescribe medicine can prescribe you this medicine. Now, how do you know what's right for you? Well, I won't explain to you what I feel like. But that's not to say that everybody feels like that. And like, it's a trial and error process. So to me, I think of it like when you go clothing shopping, which I actually hate doing, but imagine you're going to look for a dress for a friend's wedding. And sometimes you get lucky and you find the perfect outfit and the first door and the first 15 minutes, you try it on, like I look fab, you buy it, and you go, and then other times, you have to go to five stores or three different weekends and you tried on 47 dresses before you find the right one. And by the end, you're just like, Thank God, I found something that That's right. And then sometimes you buy this gorgeous dress, and then halfway through the reception, you're like, This is not comfortable. I don't like this dress, and you realize it just doesn't fit you right and you wish you didn't buy it. And sometimes the dress is just like, okay, but then you pair the right shoes with the bag and you put on a strapless bra. And all of a sudden, it's a 10 after you've made all the adjustments, but once you find that right outfit, it's like bam, feel like a supermodel. This is what it's like finding the right medicine, it is worth the trouble. But it takes a lot of adjustment to get there.
Patricia Sung 21:21
Sometimes you get lucky right away. Sometimes you have to try a whole bunch of different medicines over a long period of time before you find the right one. Sometimes your friend tells you like, Oh, you have to get this dress is amazing. And then you put it on you feel like a habit, right? It's like when you ask your friend like, well, what works for you. And they tell you I take this at this, you know dosage and you try it and it doesn't help at all. Sometimes you start trying something out and you realize after a while it's not the right one and you have to make some changes. Sometimes you need the adjustments where you need a second dose during the day, or you're adjusting your different amounts like in the morning versus in the afternoon. And you're changing the timing around to be earlier later in the day to figure it all out. But once you find the right one, it's worth the trouble. But it does take a lot of work to get there. It's hard, but it's totally worth it in the end. Now later in the series, I'm going to walk you through some of my tips for making that process smoother. So check back listen to that episode later.
Patricia Sung 22:16
Do you wish there was a way to feel like you're not feeling it life and motherhood every day. And know what it's like to run around all day like a headless chicken stressed because you're late to everything. And when you finally sit down after the kids are in bed, you think about how you didn't get anything done. And somehow your to do list was longer than when you started out this morning. You're tired drowning in feel like you'll never catch up. But imagine this. When you sit down at the end of the night. There's no MT laundry, you know what's for dinner. You spend some quality time with your kids and Medusa mom didn't even rear her ugly head at bedtime. And you did something kind of just for yourself today. If you did even one of those things today, you'd be thrilled right? It's not a fairy tale, Mama. There are other moms with ADHD getting their days together in you can do. That's why I created time measure mastery for ADHD moms where I teach you how to create a rhythm for your day in an ADHD friendly way. The puts the lengthy To Do List of motherhood on automate. So you don't have to think about when you'll sleep next, or how you'll find time to pay that bill you've been putting off, you'll be able to make a plan for your day that it's fluid enough for your ADHD brain to stick with been structured enough to feel like you're in control. Remember, our rhythms and routines serve us not the other way around. Over the next 11 weeks you will create a flexible framework for your day and walk away with a community of moms who understand you enter cheering you on and say I'm right there with you. Because being a mom is hard, we will get off track. That's just part of ADHD. But now you will have the support to get back on track. When you are struggling. We meet weekly to help us remember oh yeah, we're working on a goal. Most importantly, you'll learn about how your ADHD brain works so that you make decisions from a place of competence because a healthy mama leads a healthy family. Being proactive comes from a place of strength, which takes a ton of strain off your relationships because you are in a better place. When you're ready to lighten your load by making a daily plan and figuring out what makes sense for your ADHD brain and enjoying more of your motherhood. It's time to sign up for the time management mastery for ADHD moms program. The program starting right now. Hello immediate gratification. So sign up right now at Bitly forward slash ADHD framework. That is Be it period L y forward slash ADHD FRAMEW o RK? And that's all lowercase letters Bitly forward slash ADHD framework. So sign up now before we forget, okay. I can't wait to help you feel good about your day. But more importantly, I want you to feel good about yourself, sign up at Bitly forward slash ADHD framework.
Patricia Sung 25:10
Alright, so time warp, we're gonna go back 20 years, the year 2000 When I was diagnosed in college, and we'll walk you through my journey with medicine over the last 20 years. Now I started with the instant released methylphenidate, which is ritalin, the name brand. And I use it only for studying when I need to study. I took it it helped me for four to six hours, and then it was out of my system. I also drink a lot of coffee which I do not recommend. I did not know what I was doing back then what we know now is not what we knew. Then, at the same time, I did not even know that my other medicine was helping as well. I was also taking Wellbutrin to for the depression that I was in that generic name is food pro Bian Bupropion, I don't always say that one. That one's hard, same. Bupropion brew through pro peon. Google it BUPROP i o n, okay, work with me, people. I did not even realize that that's actually another treatment for ADHD and that a lot of times when you're taking an antidepressant or anxiety medicines, a lot of those will also help with your ADHD.
Patricia Sung 26:14
They are not the front runners of treatment for ADHD, but they will help because if you're treating your mental health in any way, it's going to help with the other pieces of your mental health right now, I always tell people please treat your ADHD first. You know, assuming that you're not like feeling suicidal, that needs to be treated first because something's on fire fix at first. But if everything is kind of the same level of Yuck, start with treating your ADHD treating that will make all the other things better. Okay, back for my tangent. So I was also taking Wellbutrin at the same time that was probably also helping, which made it like looking back I'm probably like, well, that's probably why it was okay, in a lot of the other scenarios because I was actually hitting it with two different kinds of medicine. Now, once I graduated from college, I stopped taking medicine because it wasn't studying, and I did alright.
Patricia Sung 27:01
Sometimes it was a little like duct tape version of things, but I was doing okay. It wasn't until fast forward, like 13 or 14 years later, after I had my first son, I had really awful postpartum anxiety. And you can learn all about my story back in episode 33. I walked through my journey over the last couple of decades to if you want to dive more into that, go find episode 33. With that postpartum anxiety once I started seeing someone, I started taking Zoloft in that generic is sertraline after my hormones settled out, I think it was probably like he was he was probably about a year old, maybe nine months, I can't remember when I whatever, at whatever point I started feeling better. I think it's about a year I weaned off them find and that is one that you do have to wean off over time. The same with the Wellbutrin. You can't cold turkey this stuff, the those two are both ones that build up in your system over time. So you have to take it every day, little by little it increases into your system over you need like four to six weeks to get up to like the maximum out. And they have to keep taking it every day so that it stays in your system. This is unlike stimulants, which are in your system for a short amount of time, and then they're gone. And we'll get more into how the different functions are when we talk to our experts later this month. And as I weaned off that I was doing fine. I was working part time I did okay. Without the medicine. I was like everything was alright. I didn't feel the drive for doing anything different at that time I was working. And then when I had my second one, my psychiatrists back when I was weaning off the medicine the first time, she said, Hey, whenever you decide to have another kid, if you decide to have another kid, come see me towards the end of your pregnancy. And we'll restart the medicine so that we can hopefully preemptively stop the postpartum anxiety from even starting.
Patricia Sung 28:41
So when I was about 3637 weeks pregnant, I went back to see her started my citrulline again, and turns out he was born early. So I didn't have much time to fill the medicine up in my system. But I did not have any issues with postpartum anxiety that time, interestingly enough. So after about nine months, I was like, Hey, I'm still doing fine. I'm gonna wean off this and it was a total disaster. The weaning process did not go smoothly. On the other one, it was like textbook, like timing and lowering dosage. And in this case, it wasn't every time I would lower the dose, things would go haywire. And even though I didn't have any postpartum anxiety and didn't have any postpartum depression, this time, weaning off the medicine was like I was like a ping pong ball. And my ADHD symptoms were like off the charts. And I knew in this case, this is a time where I needed the extra support. My emotions, were going haywire when I was doing okay before and I'm like, this isn't okay. I'm not okay. In this situation. I want more help. So as we started weaning the sertraline then I started the stimulants again, and that was a much better solution. But there's pros and cons and again, we'll get into this later in the series about whether you want to choose a stimulant or non stimulant. There's pros and cons to both depending on On your situation and what's going on for me, I realized, like at this moment, what's the thing that's more on fire is my ADHD symptoms? The depression and anxiety there? Okay, we're doing all right. So where do I need to focus on my ADHD. So this is where I want the best option I can't use for me for my ADHD symptoms. This is also one an app switching from my psychiatrist who was helping me with the postpartum stuff. That was her specialty, to switching to an ADHD specialist Psych.
Patricia Sung 30:29
Now I have the privilege to pay out of pocket for really good care. And the way I view spending money on my mental health is literally one of the best ways that I can show up for my family. That's one of the best ways I can use our family resources. Because when mom is not well, the family is not well, everyone knows when mom's not doing well, and everybody suffers. Like I hate to put it that way. But it's true. Everyone in the family suffers when mom is sick. I have been extremely physically sick for the last two years and my family has taken the heat because when mom's not well, the family is not well. So if you ever feel guilty about spending family resources on your mental health, do not because that is the best way you can spend your resources is on your mental health. Hands down every time. Okay, I told you I wasn't going to tell you what to do. But in that case, I'm gonna tell you what to do. Don't feel guilty, you need to take care of yourself. Okay.
Patricia Sung 31:17
So as I was waiting off with the sertraline with my postpartum psych, she was starting to help me with the ADHD meds, which she has some experience in, but she was like, Really, you should probably see someone else since this isn't my specialty, which I really appreciate. Like, I want my doctor to say like, Hey, I can do this for you. But suddenly, like what I'm really good at, like, you should see someone who's really good. And she also knew my doctor that I was switching to and was like, Yes, this is a really great doctor. And just so if you're like, hey, I, who is the structure that you're seeing, I see Dr. Don Brown of the ADHD Wellness Center here in Houston. She is licensed in several states besides Texas, so I'll link her info in the show notes here so that way you can check into her if that's something that you are looking for. Also, side note, if you're looking for an ADHD provider, in the shownotes, I will list some resources for you of where you can find some lists of providers. I have one listed in my Facebook that is a crowdsource Google Doc that ADHD errs have put their information in. I will also link some professional resources that will help you find a quality provider who does have ADHD experience. So if you're looking for someone, go look in the show notes, head over to my website. It's motherhood in adhd.com. And you can find the show notes on there. You can read the episodes if you prefer reading over listening. There's transcript there, it's good stuff.
Patricia Sung 32:39
Go check the website. Okay, what was I doing then? Yes, back on track, Patricia. Okay, methylphenidate, that's what I was taking when I was weaning off and I was doing the incident release because I knew back from college that they were rough on me. So I'm like, Well, let me just do the same thing because it Worthen right. So I was taking, if I remember correctly, bear with me. And this was shortly after a baby and four years ago. So hopefully I'm remembering this correctly. I took notes at the time because I knew I was gonna want to talk about this one day, but they're like ADHD version of notes. So bear with me. Okay, I think what I was doing was when I woke up, I would take 10 milligrams of Ritalin. And then I was taking a five milligram and splitting it in half and taking two and a half at like 115. And then another two and a half at like 330. Why? Because when I was taking the five too early, then it wouldn't give me all the way till bedtime. But if I was taking the five too late, then I couldn't fall asleep. So this is where you start to get these juggling acts in and fiddling with like this and that and what's going to work because when you taking a stimulant, it's like a bell curve. And if you're like, please, Patricia, I don't math, it's like a roller coaster, you go up and then you go back down. When you have a stimulant, it starts out in your system, the instant release module. And then like the curve goes up, you're like riding up to the top of the hill and the roller coaster, and then you hit this peak amount of time where it's, you know, really rockin and rollin and then it starts to dissipate as your system processes through. Well as you're coming on that downhill.
Patricia Sung 34:05
This is where people take their bump dose because then instead of it the roller coaster just coming down smoothly, it kind of like adds the curve on top of each other which sorry, non mathy people apply like Patricia curves, why? Just know that it then takes the curve and then bumps it up so that instead of it going down faster, the curve goes down over a much longer distance and you get more time out of that. But this is going to be different for everyone. Everyone metabolizes differently. So some people that instant release where it's for most people, it's like four to six hours is about when you're getting like the peak usage out of it. And within eight, maybe 12 hours ish, it's out of your system. If you're a slow metabolizer it's going to last in your system much longer. So those are the people who are going to have struggles like falling asleep at the end of the night. And for some people they metabolize ms faster so only they might only get like three hours out of an instant release. But here's the deal. You don't know until you try you don't know if you're a fast or slow medicine man. stabilizer most of the time, there are some people that know that usually you don't know till you've had to figure it out. And you won't know these things until you get in there. Start testing. So you got to put on your scientist coat.
Patricia Sung 35:10
I talk about this all the time, a class you put on your lab coat, me real scientists outfit on and be like I am experimenting, things are going to go wrong. I'm going to try out lots of things. And hopefully I find one that works. Eventually I will I will keep going. That's one of our greatest gifts as having ADHD is persistence. We keep going, even when things are falling apart. Okay, now, how did I know it was working? I told you that already. The whole like gym scenario when I was like, oh, TV radio, not you're telling me the same time. That's one of the ways I knew immediately it was working. Now, the problem is that when you're taking medicine to help you remember things that you then forget to take the medicine that helps you remember things. And so it was so hard, especially like, with my schedule being different every day at the time I was working part time. So like sometimes I was a stay at home mom Oh, and sometimes I was working. It was like trying to remember those dosages and always weighing out all the alarms going on my phone, it was hard to remember all that. So I was like, Okay, let me try one of the extended release ones. And the way those function is that in the capsule, it has part that releases right away in your stomach. And then there's some of it's like, kind of bundled up. And it doesn't that coding doesn't get eaten away until it gets farther down through your digestive tract. And then that medicine releases a little bit later in the day that medicine is doing that job for you. It's releasing some of the beginning and then some later on and making it so that you don't have to be the one who's keeping track of when to take the medicine. Well, first I tried methylphenidate, L A which is long acting.
Patricia Sung 36:33
Now, I did not like that one. It didn't last long enough. So like the evenings were so hard, I didn't feel like it was helping as much. And there was still the appetite suppression there which I had also on the methylphenidate instant release. But because that one is short acting like by the time that we're off, I would then be hungry and I eat. And really the the fact that it was running out right at bedtime was really like the deal breaker for me, because that's when I really need like the most help is when I'm trying to juggle all the things and do all the bedtime stuff. And also at that time, my husband was still traveling a lot from work. So a lot of times I was the one handling everything by myself at night. And it was a lot to try to get a one and a three year old Tibet on my own. That's what I needed more patients, not less.
Patricia Sung 37:15
So next up, I tried Vyvanse, which is in the Adderall family, which functions differently from the methylphenidate family. It functions the same way that the methylphenidate does plus more. And we'll get into that later in the series. Now I was nervous to take this one because when I first took it in college at one time, my heart rate was way too high. I felt like crap, if I remember quickly, like I had a headache. And I was just like my heart was pounding and felt awful. And I was like I don't want to do that again. But Dr. Dawn convinced me to try it like just see what happens if it's totaled faster than we know. And so I picked the day that I knew like if this is a total disaster, I'll be alright I just nothing was planned today I will survive. And I started on 40 milligrams. Now this will kind of remind you the same thing with the long acting methylphenidate where it was just not quite right. And granted, I had the comparison of using the instant release one for a while. So like I knew what good was. And I felt like I was better about getting started in the morning. And it also didn't have that crash was wearing off like the long acting one that was a huge issue with the long acting one for me was that I had like a really bad crash. And immediately it was like super grumpy and like more irritated neutrals. Like not only was I like not have extra patients because I didn't have the medicine to my system. It was like this crash and that was like extra grumpy. So it was like okay, well, this is better, because I'm not having that. But it just didn't feel like as good as the methylphenidate was helping me. Now at the beginning I did get kind of jittery right after lunch. But that progressively got better over the course of like a week or so. And I would notice that if I would forget to eat in the afternoon, then I would start to get jittery as long as I ate lunch I'd be alright, it still have appetite for suppression for me. But also, it actually made me a little food averse.
Patricia Sung 38:54
So with methylphenidate, I'm like I just don't feel like really hungry, or I won't feel hungry until like, a couple hours after I should have eaten lunch. But with the Vyvanse it actually made me be like Oh, food. Yeah, no, thanks. That's done. Yeah, yeah. And that's something you have to take into account is it you have to have a plan for the side effects like things are gonna go wrong, quote, unquote, wrong, things are going to be unsavory. And you won't have a plan to attack those. Like for me, I still have less appetite than without, but I have a whole like plan on how to make sure that I eat but let me not get off track. So as I'm testing the Vyvanse I was like, isn't it wasn't quite working as much. I was like maybe I should take a little bit higher dosage but that wasn't helping either. And so I just had a good talk with my doctor about okay, I keep comparing things to how the short acting Ritalin was working. So I really want that same level of productivity and task initiation but without having to remember to take it all day long. So what are my options? So where I ended up was switching to Concerta er which is a generic form of methylphenidate. And ers for extended release. Now, there were some growing pains for sure. But I'm happy with this one, still less hungry. But I set alarms to eat regularly, I make sure that eat lunch with my family and in also I'm eating dinner with my family. And it can be a little hard to stop at night. So I make sure that I'm taking it super early. I don't ever take it past 9am Because I want people to fall asleep. But I also really put her that's also my body for them like I am a night person and I'm far more productive in the evenings. So if they've have I have like little fuel on that fire. It's harder for me to turn off. Now I've been taking this medicine for, I would say at least a year, maybe two years. I don't know, pandemic time all runs together. I'd say it's about two years now that I've been taking this one and I'm pretty happy with it. Is it the unicorn of all unicorns? No. But if I look at the history of all the things that I've tried where I am right now, like I'm would say this medicine hits like a 97 90%. Like that's pretty good. And like yes, of course I wish I had that extra three 5% or whatever. But overall, like when I compare having to remember to take stuff multiple times a day, where I was before, like this is a solid choice.
Patricia Sung 41:08
Now, am I going to stick with this long term, I don't know, this is what works for me right now. And that's what matters. I can't worry about what's going to happen a year from now or five years from now because I don't know what situation I'll be in. When I think of just my health as a whole. It has changed so much in the last two years with having mold toxicity and all the medicines that I'm on for that, like I have had to like my requirement had to look at my health and how I take care of it in a very different way. And it feels a little more doable. Because I've gone through such huge health problems. I know what I can and cannot do. And I understand better now how like I have the same trial and error process with my medicine for my blood pressure. My blood pressure is too low. And so I have to take medicine to bring it up because I like to be conscious. And when my blood pressure is too low. That's it me. But it's that same process of like, Okay, try this medicine. Did it work? Do I need a little more? Do I need a little less? Oops, no, that was too much bracket down.
Patricia Sung 42:08
Like, there's no magic wand that tells us the best way to take care of our health I wish there was. But even in something as simple as like I have a little hernia on my stomach from my last pregnancy. It's like I've had to adjust the medicine for my acid reflux like because we are often all or nothing thinkers, like we want the solution right now we want it to be like, here's what I do, make it happen, move on. Unfortunately, that's not how our health works. Taking care of our body is a very nuanced and layered project to figure out, and it changes as our body changes, which it is meant to do. And it has helped me a lot in changing that perspective of knowing, hey, my body is not meant to be the same forever, especially as a woman that I meant to have the ebbs and flows throughout the month, our bodies are meant to change from birth to growing as a kid, teenager, all that hormone nonsense into becoming an adult, slick solidifying and then the opposite end of your body beginning to deteriorate, unfortunately, like how do we work with that instead of working against it, like I can't change how my body was set up to be created, right? But I can lean into that and work with it. Just like I lean into my EDG and work with it and figure out how to make my life fit. What I have, instead of trying to squish my brain into a box that it doesn't fit in? How do I work with my brain in the way that it's meant to flourish? How do I create my systems and routines that are meant for me to flourish? How do I set up my medicine and my treatments in a way that allows me to flourish? Those are the questions I'm asking myself Now what makes the most sense for me to be successful in this present moment, knowing that I'm probably going to have to change it at some point because life doesn't stay the same forever. So for right now, all the hoops that I have to jump through and the appointments and insurance, all that stuff right now that's worth it for me to have the benefits of being a more present, and calm mother to be able to do all the things that I'm doing right now.
Patricia Sung 44:23
Raising my family, growing my relationship with my husband, building a business, being super involved in my church and mentoring others, helping at my kids schools, functions, like all those ways that I would like to participate in life, learning how to be a good friend again, after not seeing people for two years like all of this that I'm trying to keep up with. I want the most support possible, and that's why I choose to take medicine. So I asked you mama, what does it look like for you to have the best support possible in this situation? you're in right now. What does it look like to take care of yourself? Well, who do you need to see? Where do you need to ask for more help? What do you need to be the best you? And what's one thing that you can do today, I have two example things are not going to magically change your situation. But what's one way that you can set yourself up for success. And if that's medicine, I want you to find the person that can help you. So head over to the shownotes. Read the resources there, look for a doctor near you that can help you and as well versed in ADHD, dig in there and figure out what works best for you. And I'm here to support you in as many ways that I can. Now we're going to continue this medication series through the rest of the month. So stay tuned, because we have a lot more to dig into. I'll talk to you soon successful mama.
Patricia Sung 45:59
Hey there, Mama. I've got something fun for you. Who doesn't love a quiz? I want to know which mama animal are you because you're not your average Mama Bear. You have a magical ADHD brain that puts a sprinkle of brilliance on everything you do. Sure, you may have forgotten that laundry in the washer for the third time. But what are your strengths? What makes your ADHD parenting style unique to you? How do you use that sparkle to bless your family? So which mama animal are you? Find out by taking the quiz? What's your ADHD mama parenting style because you're not your average Mama Bear? Head on over to patriciasung.com/quiz and find out and then when you do I want you to post your results on social media so we can see that your hashtag, not your average Mama Bear along with the hashtag. I'm a mama and then fill in the animal that you get. Again, that's patriciasung.com/quiz. And I can't wait to see what you get. So tag me at motherhood in ADHD. For more resources, classes and community head over to my website motherhoodinadhd.com