Spending Money on Yourself Guilt-free! Plus How to Talk to Your Partner about the Budget #220

 
 

Sometimes you need a reminder that it’s okay to spend a little money on yourself, especially when the guilt of the last 3 wasteful impulse buys are still weighing on you.

In this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, we're diving headfirst into why self-care is NOT selfish. I want you to know that putting yourself on the budget’s priority list is worth it - without guilt creeping in and talking yourself out of it before you ever get that much deserved break.

Often that guilt (or fear of something else) also prevents you from bringing up the topic of money with your partner. 

I’ll cover how you can prepare for a money conversation with your partner and set the stage so it’s as smooth as possible. 

If even thinking about money conversations or putting yourself first gives you hives, this episode is a great first step toward ditching the guilt, as we dive into two uncomfortable conversations in today’s episode.

New workshop alert!

Your Gifted Child: A 3-workshop series to help you understand your gifted child better, parent them well without losing your sanity, and learn the skills to help them be calm, well-rounded and successful. We'll talk about 2e, comorbidities, emotional regulation, and executive function skills. 

Come to the live workshops OR listen to the private podcast version OR watch the replay. 

In case you’re new around here, I'm a certified K-12 GT teacher and taught middle school for many years before becoming an ADHD Coach, so I’m using my years of experience teaching gifted & 2e kids to support my boys’ school GT program.

It's donate-what-you-can admission! Sign up here: patriciasung.com/gt

Patricia Sung  00:00

Here I am pulling my bunched up sock out of my boot for like the 10th time that day and my husband turns to me and goes, What is wrong with you know, my socks all bunched up, which like, is like one of my top 10 pet peeves. I hate having my socks bunched up. Anything uncomfortable in my feet and my shoes drives me nuts. And he's like, how old are those socks? And like, blink, blink, blink, blink? Um, no idea. And there's that moment of like, oh, man, I have just made sure my kids have an entire winter wardrobe. And here I don't have socks to wear. Great. Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy. You can figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family.

 Patricia Sung  00:53

I get your mama, parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully, and in turn, lead our families well, at the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. but spoiler alert, you are already a great mom. ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess mama, you can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story. And I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD.

 Patricia Sung  01:44

Hey there successful mama, it's your friend Patricia Sung. When it comes to spending money, this can be a really sore spot for us with ADHD, all kinds of stuff gets stirred up. When we think about spending money keeping track of money checking the budget impulse spending overspending, it can come with a lot of baggage. And today, I want you to know that there are different kinds of spending, and that we don't have to apply all of the baggage that we carry around with us about money to every single purchase, there are different kinds of purchases. And when we can separate them out, then we don't have to have a lot of guilt and shame over every single one. Yes, some may still be there. But certain things that we're spending money on need to be spend. So let's talk through some of the things that are holding us back on making wise decision and spending money in a way that makes sense for what our family needs. When we look at how we spend money.

 Patricia Sung  02:41

There are certain things that we need to be spending money on. But life costs money, everything costs money, and we only have so much to deal with. And from like a strategy perspective. I've already talked on the podcast here about making wise money decisions, so you can go back to the beginning, don't judge me. I know what I'm doing back then. Back to episodes like 22, 23, 24, 31 and 32. Those are all about like making wise decisions with our money. Like how do you make a budget when you have ADHD? actually follow the budget? How do you put money in savings? How do you not overdraw your account, like those are all covered in there. And I've also talked about impulsive behaviors like how it shows up and like impulsive spending in 157. So strategy wise, we've talked about money quite a bit, where I see it showing up right now, even in myself here is like not buying new socks, like you deserve to have money spent on you. And we don't think so. Here I am. I bought my kids a whole wardrobe, making sure they had everything they needed for winter or the pants that are long enough.

 Patricia Sung  03:46

And we went to New York City for a couple of days over Christmas break. And here I am hiking up my socks every like two minutes, because I'm wearing old socks that don't have elastic that work in them anymore. And it's not until my husband points out like how old are those socks? I was like, Oh my gosh, I have no idea. I don't know when I bought them. I think that means they've got to be probably at least 10 years old. Who knows. I mean, granted like I'm in Houston, we don't wear like boots and like big fuzzy socks around very often. But like the fact that I don't have socks that stay on my feet is a problem. I deserve socks that stay on my feet as to you.

 Patricia Sung  04:23

So when we carry around this guilt about spending money on ourselves, like Well, it'd be better off if I spent that money on my kids fill in the blank. Is it yes I'm not saying don't buy your kids stuff. But you deserve a portion of that money to like you are a valuable worthy member of this family who also should have money spent on them like if you are still wearing a nursing bra and your kids are now in elementary school. Like hey, if you love that nursing bra and it's super comfy go for it but like also it is okay for you to buy a comfortable bra that fits you now for the stage of life that you are And now you deserve to have basic necessities of clothing. They don't have to be the fanciest shmancy us thing there is like, you deserve to have your needs covered as well, because you are part of the family, I know that you're probably thinking of like, all those returns that you bought, and then you returned again. And you're feeling bad about that, that ADHD tax that comes in, I get it. I'm actually sitting here in my closet staring at the shirt from Costco that I said I was going to return. And then I forgot the last like three times that I went. But also like one of the ways that I support myself is I buy things like from Costco where it has a generous return policy. And I know that if I don't return it right away, it's okay, I can return it in a month from now. And I'll still get my money back. So like we can find ways to support ourselves in making better decisions.

 Patricia Sung  05:50

Because we're not going to just magically be good at money, we're not just gonna magically like not be buying things impulsively. But we can do things to make better decisions. And just because you made a bad decision one time or many times, doesn't mean that you don't deserve to have that money still spent on you for like basic things, or even like things that you think feel like a luxury, because I would challenge that perhaps taking care of yourself is not actually a luxury, like we like to categorize it, it's a whole lot easier to say, Oh, well, that's like a luxury item. And like we have other things that are more important to spend it on. And then we can rationalize away like that.

 Patricia Sung  06:25

I don't need new socks. But like, is that actually a luxury to have socks that stay on your feet, there are times in our lives where we have to stick to a really tight budget, and no, there is no money for a new bra in this budget. But there's a lot of times also, that we choose to spend the money on everybody else. And we give ourselves 0% of the pie. And that's where I want to start changing the way you think about it. To know that you do deserve to have a part of the budget spent on you, you are part of the family, therefore you are part of the budget. If we're constantly putting ourselves at the bottom of the list, then we're not taken care of, then we're setting the example for our kids that it's okay for mom to be at the bottom of the list. And that is not okay. So as we're talking about money today, I want to be sensitive that sometimes we don't have room in the budget, and we're keeping it tight, because that's what we got to do. But when you are looking at that overall picture, I want to be sure that you are part of the picture, even if it's a small slice, you're still part of the picture. Okay, so why do we need to put ourselves on the priority list and make sure that a piece of that budget is going towards you? First, I think a lot of times we think that self care is a luxury item. And like actually, self care is like a basic necessity taking care of yourself.

 Patricia Sung  07:43

Like I'm not talking about like, oh, you know going to get a pedicure. Instead of buying groceries, I'm talking about the time just like taking care of yourself is a bare minimum of being like a functioning human. When you're taking care of yourself. That means you have increased capacity to deal with everything that's going on. That means that like by going to the doctor, you're taking care of yourself so that you are healthy enough to be able to take care of your kids and do the things that you want to do. When you're taking care of yourself. You have more energy, when you're taking care of yourself, that reduces the stress load on you. When you take care of yourself.

 Patricia Sung  08:17

That means that you are better equipped to take care of everybody else, not just today. But like in the long run overall, like this is something that helps prevent burnout, when you're always putting everyone else first. That's how we get burnout when you're exhausted when you're overwhelmed. Like a lot of self care things fall in like the basic needs like putting gas in the car, the car doesn't go if you don't put the gas in the mom doesn't go if she's not getting enough sleep and basic food, drink in your water taking some time away for your brain to own moosh those are the ways that you prevent burnout so that you can be a great mom. What can you do to treat your ADHD medicines are a great way to help so many people but they don't work for everyone. And sometimes you're in a place or a season that they're just not going to work out right now. Maybe they're not an option. I have put together a list of a ton of ideas, most of which I either have done or I'm currently doing myself to take care of my ADHD.

 Patricia Sung  09:16

This is like the full brainstorm list of what you can do to take care of yourself beyond medication, head on over to Patricia sung.com forward slash beyond hyphen meds and grab yourself that checklist. That's Patriciasung.com/beyond-meds for a free checklist of all the ways that you can take care of yourself beyond medication.

 Patricia Sung  09:46

One of the ways that I think self care really gets overlooked is that when we have ADHD we really need a lot of whitespace to let our minds wander and be creative. And this can look like a lot of things like sometimes it looks like We'd have space like, you know, art or dance or craft projects. Sometimes there's like a physical creativity going on. And sometimes it's just giving your brain space to wander so that your thoughts don't run amok later. Like whenever people are having trouble sleeping, one of my first questions is like, when during the day, does your brain have time to run through all those thoughts that are going on, when you're in bed with your eyes closed? Like if the only time you slow down, is when you put your head on the pillow, your brains like, Hello, thanks for letting me do stuff.

 Patricia Sung  10:33

Okay, let me tell you all the things that I didn't tell you earlier today. No brain, this is the time we're trying to go to sleep. So if we aren't giving ourselves the space during the day, to be able to let our mind wander and think about all those things that pop up, that's what's keeping you up at night, half the time. So that self care time that time will you step away from all your responsibilities, maybe not all of them, but some of them that is what allows your brain to unravel all of its busyness that comes with having ADHD, you need that space to like, let your mind wander, recharge those times where like thoughts are marinating around your head, that's when you can like unfold, and problem solve. That's where you get all your good ideas. Like when you're driving or in the shower, or when you're on the potty. Like, that's when your brain has time to come up with all the cool stuff. Because you're finally like not doing 600 things. Even if that time is used for your kids, like you're trying to come up with a solution that like, Oh man, I don't know what to do about this kids problem about, you know, their friend drama. If you don't give your like brain space to problem solve and turn it around.

 Patricia Sung  11:29

 Like, that's when your brain can come up with all the good ideas and figure out how are you going to deal with this problem. But also that decompression time, gives you the space to like breathe and take some of the responsibility off your shoulders and allow you to rest that you have the capacity to do all of that. The other part where I think self care gets a bad rap, when we're spending money on ourselves is that like, this is one of the ways that we actually strengthen our relationships, when you put money towards you instead of something else for the family.

 Patricia Sung  11:56That doesn't mean you're being neglectful of your family. Yes, there's only so much of the pie to go around. But that doesn't mean that by using part of it, everyone else is like derelict, they will be okay. If they get 90% of their wishes filled and 10% of that goes towards you, they'll be alright. But also spending money on yourself keeps you from becoming resentful and feeling like you're being neglected, and everybody else is getting their needs met, or in some of their wants, probably too like that can start to eat at us. And we start to feel resentful. Like why are I important? How come I don't get to be cared for. And like that's a really slippery slope that we can fall down. We're not taking care of ourselves. But also like, we have to be the ones to say that yes, of course, we wish somebody else in the family would point out that we need a break or that we need this or that. But like ultimately, as the mom, like we're driving the bus on a lot of financial decisions.

 Patricia Sung  12:48

So if we're not putting ourselves on the list, it's not going to happen. And when you are happy and fulfilled and like being taken care of and getting refreshment, then you're going to have a better attitude the rest of the time, because your needs are being met too. So it creates like a better dynamic within your family. Because everyone's getting needs mad. Everyone feels important. everyone shows up as you know, part of the priority list at some point in the day. And when we're in a better mood, then we're able to have stronger emotional connections and have good conversations and things can be light hearted. None of that happens when we're feeling resentful. So when you are thinking about like, well, this money would be better spent here for like better by what definition because taking care of yourself is not selfish, you are a human to you need to be on the list of priorities, like just like everybody else in the family. Yes. And that's an investment. When you take care of yourself, you get the benefit, but you also get the benefit within your family. So it comes back to you twofold or tenfold.

 Patricia Sung  13:49

Because your family gets happier mom, a more content mom, a mom who has basic needs met. And that's a big part of how our family dynamic comes together is when everybody's needs are met. When there's somebody who is absorbing all the resources of the group, that imbalance sometimes is necessary. But when it's not necessary, it creates a lot of problems. So we want to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves too, because I asked about this in the Facebook group a couple months ago like spending money and it was a pretty wide split of like some people do whatever they want. Some people talk to their partner about every decision, some only talk to their partner about like big decisions. It was pretty widespread. But there was a common theme of feeling uncomfortable in talking to your partner about spending money on yourself. And I think this is a lot of times where that. I mean, it's a multi layered thing.

 Patricia Sung  14:44

 But like when we've made a lot of impulse purchases or not followed the budget or made decisions that we regretted about our money, a lot of times it will come back into play of like well now I don't feel like I deserve to ask for part of the money to go towards me because I wasted a B, C and D and now I don't feel like it serve what's there. When we carry this guilt and shame into these conversations, not only is it not good for us, because we're starting that conversation from like a stress point. But when we carry that in, and our partner doesn't know that, like, that's part of the brewings underneath the surface, they don't know how to help us. So we're having these conversations about spending money on ourselves with our partner, there's a few things I think helped make it a little bit easier.

 Patricia Sung  15:28

One is starting the conversation, like at the right time, the right place, like not when everybody's grumpy, not when people had a bad day, not when you know, there's a whole bunch of distractions and kids running around like, you want to have a talk about something sensitive, like money, when everybody's in a fairly good mood relaxed, not worried about other things. And yes, it can be very hard to find a time like that when you have kids around. Like, we can also go to our partner and say, like, Hey, I have some questions about money, stuff, like when's a good time for us to do that and mark it out on the calendar, like, Hey, I think Tuesday after the kids go to bed would be a good one. And it's okay, it'd be like, You know what, today was a really crappy day, we probably need to talk about this another day, because I'm in a rough mood. And when you have this open communication with your partner, and letting them know how you're feeling, they can then help you.

 Patricia Sung  16:19

 And you can help them where you can, like, start off the conversation just on a better foot that way, but being honest, in the way that you feel matters a lot. There are so so many things that I did not realize I brought into conversations before when my husband, I started going to marriage counseling, and realizing like just how much baggage I carried into so many of our conversations and like, you know, sidestepping and like walking on eggshells on like what I thought I should or shouldn't say, and a lot of them will actually like came from me, it wasn't anything that he did or said that made me approach the conversation that way. A lot of it was like the trauma that I grew up with, or my worries, or my intrusive thoughts that were telling me like, I had to, like, do all these things and jump through all these hoops in order to deserve having money spent on me. I mean, like a lot of preconceived notions about a lot of topics.

 Patricia Sung  17:12

But today, I'm talking about money. So stay there, when we can be honest, and say, like, here's how I feel about this. Here's what I'm concerned about. This is how I'm feeling about it. And sticking like to those I statements and like, focusing on what I need, how I'm feeling and avoiding the like you You did this, you Oh, please do that, like, oh, no, we're back at the truck. Sticking with those I statements, it helps him know what really matters to me. Because when we can share with our partner openly about like, where we're coming from, they can also help us they can like help them see our side of things better, but it also helps them to like, be able to problem solve together too. Because sometimes, like, if I'm expressing a need for some more space, I feel like the kids are always on me, I might have already caught in my head with like, here's the solution I really want. But when you and your partner are working together, like you could probably come up with like six different options of how you can make that happen.

 Patricia Sung  18:07

So when you're both working on like the same team, you can get to the solution that fits the needs easier and faster and like better and you'll come up with new ideas, but the the person doesn't understand why you're feeling that way or what it is that you really want, then it's a lot harder for them to help you come up with a solution that's going to fit what your family or your budget needs. Another thing that helps me a lot is reminding myself from the get go that like my partner loves me very much, and he wants what's best for me. And when I come into the conversation, knowing that like we're both on the same team, we're both trying to get to the same goal of everyone being happy and taken care of, then it helps me have the right mindset. And it helps him have that mindset to have like we're on the same team. We're both trying to get to the solution that's going to make both people happy, all the family happy, like we're working together.

 Patricia Sung  18:59

Like we want to look like how this benefits the whole family meeting here myself is not selfish, and I'm not scooping up the resources and preventing anyone else having a good life. No. When everybody in the family is taken care of everybody does better. It's like that seeing rising tide lifts all ships, like when everyone in the family has their needs met, everyone is doing better overall. And like I'm gonna say one more time, you are a part of the family. You are a member of the family and some of the resources should also go towards you.

 Patricia Sung  19:28

Have you gotten a child that is too much, too sensitive, too anxious, too boisterous, too loud, too anxious, too smart for their own good to match. I am hosting a parenting workshop for parents of kids that are too much. And it's donate what you can because it's a fundraiser for my kids school. They lost funding for the GT program for next year. And so a bunch of parents have banded together and we are raising money to be able to keep that program for our kids. So do donate what you can for the your gifted child series. It's a parenting workshop where we are going to cover three different topics there, you can show up live or you can watch the replay.

 Patricia Sung  20:11

The first workshop is behind the brilliance, understanding and nurturing gifted minds. The second workshop is gifted and grounded parenting strategies for raising exceptional children. And the third workshop is Calm in the Chaos, emotional resilience for gifted families. So if you have a child that is too much, please come join me and donate to a very good cause. You can find all the information at patriciasung.com/gt. Those are both lowercase letters and donate for a great cause. And you get those three workshops. If you purchase before the workshops happen, you can attend live, or afterwards you can watch the replay. So thank you so much for supporting my kids school. And let's get you some parenting strategies to help you raise your out of box kid. Again, that's patriciasung.com/gt.

 Patricia Sung  21:04

The next helpful tip is when you're talking about money with your partner is looking at like specific examples. When you go in and say, like, we need to spend money on X, I think it'll be about this much. It's a lot easier for both people to like understand in the conversation, what you're going for, then it'd be like, I need time for me. And it's like, Well, okay, like, what does that mean? How long is that? How much does it cost? How much burden is the other partner taking to make that happen? Like, when we give specific examples. So when we give specific examples, it helps them to know what the ask is, but also know like, you probably don't need to go in with like a PowerPoint presentation. And like five pages of notes, but some specifics are good. Like one of the things that actually drives my husband bonkers is when I come up with an idea. And I have like researched it so far that I know exactly what I want to do. And then he's like, we're this, like, How is this not a team decision? Like, why didn't you tell me earlier? So we could have worked on this together? And so feeling out your relationship and knowing like what parts of this you're gonna want to be involved in and will partially like, oh, no, I do not want to be promoting that you handle it like, but when things affect both of you, like some of those things need to be addressed by the group, not just one person. So you don't have to have a five page PowerPoint presentation.

 Patricia Sung  22:21

And know like every last detail, because also like it doesn't have to be like one conversation, it can be a hey, I was thinking about updating my wardrobe with like new basics, because I'm really struggling with like, the socks that he bunching up, let's talk about what's in the budget for me to replace, like, you know, socks, underwear and bras for the next couple of months. And it could be like, Okay, well, you know, what if we, you know, maybe you do socks this month, or next month in bras the month after that, or it could be like, Well, why don't you grab a couple things that you like, see what works. And then we'll look at our next month budget to be like, Okay, well, now that we know the underwear you like cost this much and this actually cost this much and be like, where do we have room in the budget coming up in the next few months to fit that in? Another helpful part when you're having money discussions, is acknowledging and addressing any concerns or on both sides. So obviously, like money can be a really worrisome subject for a lot of us.

 Patricia Sung  23:16

And so if we think about like, Okay, well, if we're going to spend it on this, here's some ideas of how we could cut back here. And knowing like, we're not just going to ignore the problems and just be like, yes, spend more money, but that we can look at the different ways that this is going to affect the rest of the family. And like what can we do about that? And then we want to look at also what are the priorities, like having a good conversation about what funds are going towards like needs versus saving versus like personal enjoyment, self care kind of stuff, like looking at all of that in the big picture, and having these ongoing conversations of what matters to your family? And what are you working towards? And what are you saving towards, that helps everyone stay on track to because when we have ADHD, if we don't understand the motivation for something, we're not doing it so like we're not sticking to a budget just to stick to a budget.

 Patricia Sung  24:06

If you're saving for a house, that's a different motivation, but like also that can be really vague and not actually that motivating because it doesn't feel tangible. Sometimes we have to drill it down and be like, Well, my priority is like we really want a sturdy home that's like steady that feels safe and like something consistent. Like we want to like raise our kids here for the next 10 years. That like until they're out of the house like that may be a more tangible prioritization is saying like we want this sturdy stability like kind of thing in our lives more than just like we want to buy a house it's like like why do you want to buy a house like what about it is motivating to you? Is it that you love to paint and you can't wait to like paint your house all different colors in each room like is it that you want to have room for guests to come visit anytime you want? Is it that you want? Have backyard dinner parties in the summer? Like, what about it is a priority to you.

 Patricia Sung  25:05

And that helps us stay on track for like what matters? Because then we can say like, well, this thing comes up like, ooh, Target dollar spent, like, well, is this thing more important than me having all my friends over for summer dinner parties new? No. Okay, I can pass on that. But if it's just like, what we're saving for house like, will that just feel so like far away? And like, Wow, no big, but it's a lot easier to look at this doodad at Target and be like, do I want this more than summer dinner parties in my new backyard? Okay, decision a lot easier than and then of course, we want to make sure that we both share opinions. It's not just about what we want to talk about, like getting your partner's thoughts to, and understanding like, what are they worried about? Like, is there anything that they need, and I am a staunch supporter of it not being like tally marks, and like, well, I did this for you. So you need to do this for me, or like, I got a weekend away.

 Patricia Sung  25:54

So now, you know, fine, I'll give you a weekend away like it. In marriage, when we start counting things, it never goes well. And like granted, I'm saying all this marriage advice like with the understanding that like this is true, if you have a partner who truly cares about you, and is not like an awful person who does not want the best for you like this, that's a whole different conversation. That's not the conversation we're having today. When you're in a partnership, where both people really do love each other are trying to work for the best want to do what's good for the whole family, for their partner, like when you're both on the same team, you don't have to keep score, because you're both on the same team. You don't keep score, when it's just you and your teammates, you keep score when it's your team against something else. So it's important to have that reminder at the beginning these conversations of like, we're on the same team, how can we make this work? So my husband always jokes, whenever they ask for advice for new couples, like get like a wedding shower, or like on like the wedding, welcome book, or whatever they ask for advice.

 Patricia Sung  26:53

My husband always says there's no such thing as compromises like that. I know, that's like a really common advice of like, oh, compromise, it's like, when you compromise, it's really like, somebody is not getting what they want. And somebody is, he always jokes, there's no such thing as compromise. What does matter is that you're finding a balance of both people getting what they want, like, it's not always going to be what you want. And it's not always going to be what they want. But there's not usually like in like, the little decisions, a lot of times, it means one person got what they wanted, one person didn't. So what matters there is making sure that it is fair and balanced and equitable.

 Patricia Sung  27:30

Not that we're keeping score, but like that, neither side feels like they're always giving up what they want for the other person and not receiving that gift in return. Because when you're in a loving partnership, sometimes you're carrying more of the weight than the other person is, sometimes you're getting more of the benefit than the other person is. And that's part of the seasons of being in a long term committed relationship, but also needs to be two sided so that both parties are giving and both parties are receiving these when both sides are working towards the same goal you can get there. When you go in with that understanding and empathy and listening and knowing that together, we can do this, we can figure it out.

 Patricia Sung  28:13

That's when the whole family is doing well as a whole. So I want to encourage you that no matter if you're trying to talk to your partner about something simple as socks, or something bigger, like you want to come on our ADHD mom retreat that's in the fall, like no matter the decision big or small, when you're able to separate that your past decisions about money don't have to impact the way you feel about decisions now that you're allowed to have money spent on you, even if you've made poor decisions in the past that you are part of the family and you deserve for part of the resources to go towards you. Because when the whole family is doing well, everyone is doing well. And knowing that you can have these conversations with your partner, to figure out ways to spend your family's resources that your opinion matters a lot, it can be really hard, especially when there is an imbalance of who's bringing in more money or if someone's staying home, that we feel like we don't deserve to be spent on because we haven't brought as much money and we haven't brought any money in and knowing that as a team, the family is all working towards one goal. We have one pot of money to take care of everyone and everyone matters.

 Patricia Sung  29:25

And while we all serve different roles, all those roles are important. They all matter. So you mama are worthy of having a weekend away. You are worthy of having new socks that don't fall down while you walk around. During the day. You are worthy as a member of the team, a member of the family, to have some of the resources spent on you and is not selfish for you to expect that part of that money is spent on you as well because you matter your well being matters and the better that you are taking care of yourself the better that your family functions. So it's not selfish take care of yourself. In fact, it's the opposite. Taking care of yourself means that you're doing the best job possible to take care of your family. I'll talk to you soon successful mama. For more resources, classes and community, head over to my website motherhoodinadhd.com.

Podcast EpisodePatricia Sungrelationships, Self care