Is an ADHD Self-Diagnosis Valid? 5 Reasons to get an ADHD Diagnosis beyond getting a prescription for ADHD medication #139
How did you figure out you (possibly) have ADHD?
We all have our own unique journey to an ADHD diagnosis.
Maybe you have a formal diagnosis from a doctor and a prescription for ADHD medication, and it’s helping you live your best life.
Or maybe your ADHD is self-diagnosed. You’ve done the research, you check all the boxes, you know in your heart that this is why you’re struggling, and you’re choosing to manage it on your own.
What matters most is that you feel seen, supported, and encouraged.
But what if you’re on the fence about getting a professional diagnosis for your ADHD?
What if you're (understandably) concerned about the cost of care, or feeling overwhelmed by the process of finding the right doctor?
Maybe you've had a bad experience in the past where you've felt uninformed, shamed, embarrassed, or doubted your own perspective.
In this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, I’ll share my thoughts on this topic. You’ll hear:
- Why people decide to stick with ADHD self-diagnosis (Absolutely NO judgement here!)
- Why the simple validation that you have ADHD can improve your mental health and wellbeing
- 5 reasons why a formal diagnosis can improve your mental health, work and school accommodations, relationships with others, and more
This episode will help you take the worry out of the equation and feel supported and validated that you are making the best decision for you.
In 11 weeks, you’ll set up a smooth, low-stress plan for your mom life by designing your daily rhythms and routines fit for your ADHD brain. Time Management Mastery for ADHD Moms is starting NOW! Join us here: bit.ly/adhdframework.
Patricia Sung 0:00
Is self diagnosis valid? Let's discuss.
Patricia Sung 0:05
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy. You can figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I get your mama, parenting with ADHD is hard.
Patricia Sung 0:24
Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest or the visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully, and in turn, lead our families.
Patricia Sung 0:47
Well, at the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. but spoiler alert, you are already a great mom. ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess. Mama, you can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story. And I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD.
Patricia Sung 1:11
I love reading your reviews. And unfortunately, I can only read the reviews on Apple podcasts that exist in the U.S. So even though the podcast is rated in the top podcast for over 30 countries, I can't see any of them. So would you do me a favor? If you are in another country besides the U.S.? Would you go to the ratings and reviews section on Apple podcasts and take a screenshot and send it to me, you can email it to me at hello@patriciasung.com. Or you can send me a direct message with a screenshot on Instagram. Either way, it'd be much appreciated because I would love to see and read everyone's reviews, not just the ones that I can see.
Patricia Sung 1:15
In addition to that, if you review on another app, the zipper podcast send me that too. I want to read them all. This week's review is from Colleen in Tacoma says I knew this is going to be a gift for me when I started crying during your intro. Just hearing you say that we're already great moms hit me so hard. I've constantly berated myself with how hard journey has been, I only have one son who's eight now. And I can't imagine having another because it's so hard. I always say there should be a separate word other than hard to express the degree of how hard it feels for me. Thank you for this podcast. It's given me help them starting to feel less negative and less like a failure. That's huge. You're doing important work. Thank you for doing it.
Patricia Sung 2:33
Well, Colleen, I'm pretty sure we all have felt that level of heart if we're listening to this podcast. And I agree we do need a better word. But know that you are not alone. There are literally 1000s of moms here right here with you. We're doing it together. And we're not failures. We're all doing our very best. And that's what matters.
Patricia Sung 2:52
So speaking of difficult things, let's talk about getting a diagnosis. Why should you get a professional diagnosis is a self diagnosis. And now, well, the answer lies within you. If you don't need any of these things about to talk to you about then you don't have to get a professional diagnosis.
Patricia Sung 3:09
For a lot of people self diagnosing is totally fine. What really matters is that when you know that your brain works differently, you then have the new direction if you want to know how you can structure your life to make sense for your brain. So knowing that you have ADHD means you can structure your life in a way that makes sense for ADHD brains, then, you know, you can implement strategies that fit someone who is neurodivergent. But you don't have to have another person tell you that your brain works that way to know that these kinds of strategies will work for you.
Patricia Sung 3:36
So if you know how your brain works, and these strategies that I talked about make sense to you and you're like cool, you may be good to go. I understand how when you go to get a diagnosis, there are so many hurdles that we have to jump through to get there between the cost and the time and the paperwork and finding the right person to work with. It's a lot so for you it might not be worth jumping through all those hoops.
Patricia Sung 3:56
But I'll be honest, I always recommend getting a professional diagnosis from a knowledgeable provider. But why the main reason for me is that we want to look at your full picture of mental health, your mental well being ADHD rarely travels by itself. There are so many things that come along with it, whether you have things like anxiety and depression and you've got bipolar and physical things like chronic fatigue, we also seem to have a lot of autoimmune issues, haven't done any research on that.
Patricia Sung 4:26
But just from personal experience there feels like there's a lot of us with this issue, which I could totally go on a tangent here, but I'm gonna read it in. We also have things like learning disabilities like dyslexia, dyscalculia Irlen syndrome, which we talked about a couple weeks ago, we have the hormonal implications that come with PMDD. Like there's just so many ways that ADHD can be mixed in with other things.
Patricia Sung 4:49
For example, if you are also autistic, you would be much better served to look at both of those things, because you can't really separate out you as a person and only one lair, right? Or if you have multiple things like ADHD and autism, they interplay together, they affect each other. And we want to look at that whole picture, not just the one thing, your full well being matters. And when you speak with a professional, they can help you kind of suss out, what are the things that are making the biggest impact? And where should you start first.
Patricia Sung 5:22
Now, often, ADHD is where you should start first, because it's layering on the anxiety and the depression. However, we can't just look at one in isolation. In some cases, someone may be so deep in depression, that maybe you're thinking about suicidal thoughts, and that needs to be addressed immediately. That's far more important than addressing your ADHD that is like what's on fire and that needs to be taken care of first, you need to be taking care of first, you have to get yourself well enough to be able to implement the treatments that go along to take care of your ADHD.
Patricia Sung 5:56
If you're struggling with addiction that has to be handled first, you need to be healthy there first, because we can't make permanent change. When we're in that place. In those deep dark holes. We need to reach out and get help for those things first. So that's why I want you to reach out to someone who is knowledgeable. And a professional can help you sort through the many layers of who you are, and get a treatment plan that makes sense for you. Because we're all different.
Patricia Sung 6:27
We all have different layers. We all have different pieces of the ADHD pie and all of its friends, there's never going to be an answer of everyone should start with step one. And everyone should start with this step two, because we're all different, there's no blanket answer. And meeting with professional allows you to figure out what needs to be addressed first. Now on to the obvious choice.
Patricia Sung 6:47
Reason number two that everyone talks about and thinks that's really the reason people told me they think they need diagnosis as this one is if they want medication. Yes, you do need an official diagnosis to get medication. But again, medication is just one tool in your toolbox. It is a very helpful tool. But it's not for everyone. Everyone needs a different kind. And it's only one tool.
Patricia Sung 7:06
Reason number three, you may want to diagnosis is to have accommodations. If you are currently in school, or in a work environment where you could do well with some extra assistance. Having that professional diagnosis with the letter of accommodations that comes with it will legally require those entities to support you. Now, this is a whole nother can of worms that I can't open today. But then on the docket. Because it depends on your situation, whether or not that's helpful to you whether or not your company is big enough that they can help you with this, it may cause more problems to tell people at work, it may end up making your life a lot easier, I don't know. But given your situation, it may be really helpful to have accommodations at work.
Patricia Sung 7:49
Now, when it comes to school. As a former teacher I've taught in both public and private schools, there's a very rare case what I would recommend that you not tell the school what's going on for a student? To be honest, I can't think of any I'm sure there's one that exists out there. But to me, if you're telling me that the school is better off not knowing for the well being of your your child, my question would be is this really the place for you? Is this really the place for your child? So as a blanket statement, it is usually beneficial to let the school know about your learning disabilities so that you can get the accommodations in place to help you.
Patricia Sung 8:23
Reason number four, another way that having a professional diagnosis can help us is the validation. Now some people don't need the validation. But more often than not, we would do well with having someone tell us Yes, you are correct. You are struggling. This is a valid thing.
Patricia Sung 8:39
It's not made up in your head, you truly have a different kind of brain, and you are moving through this world in a different way. And that's why it feels hard. There's a good chance that you've spent a lot of your time doubting yourself and your decisions and having someone tell you yes, this is real can really bolster your self esteem. You feel more comfortable and confident and competent. Because you have strong evidence that says yes, this is real.
Patricia Sung 9:08
Do you wish there was a way to feel like you're not failing at life and motherhood every day? I notice like to run around all day like a headless chicken stressed because you're late to everything. And when you finally sit down after the kids are in bed, you think about how you didn't get anything done. And somehow your to do list is longer than when you started out this morning. You're tired drowning and feel like you'll never catch up.
Patricia Sung 9:32
But imagine this. When you sit down at the end of the night. There's no mount laundry, you know what's for dinner? You spend some quality time with your kids and Medusa mom didn't even rear her ugly head at bedtime. And he did something kind of just for yourself today. If you did even one of those things today, you'd be thrilled right? It's not a fairy tale, Mama. There are other moms with ADHD getting their days together. And you can do that So I created time measure mastery for ADHD moms where I teach you how to create a rhythm for your day in ADHD friendly way, the puts the lengthy To Do List of motherhood on automate. So you don't have to think about when you're sleeping next or how you'll find time to pay that bill you've been putting off, you'll be able to make a plan for your day that it's fluid enough for your ADHD brain to stick with been structured enough to feel like you're in control.
Patricia Sung 10:23
Remember our rhythms and routines service, not the other way around. Over the next 11 weeks, you will create a flexible framework for your day and walk away with a community of moms who understand you and are cheering you on and say I'm right there with you. Because being a mama's art, we will get off track. That's just part of ADHD. But now you will have the support to get back on track. When you are struggling. We meet weekly to help us remember, oh yeah, we're working on a goal. Most importantly, you'll learn about how your ADHD brain works so that you make decisions from a place of competence because a healthy mama leads a healthy family. Being proactive comes from a place of strength, which takes a ton of strain off your relationships because you are in a better place.
Patricia Sung 11:10
When you're ready to lighten your load. By making a daily plan and figuring out what makes sense for your ADHD brain and enjoying more of your motherhood, it's time to sign up for the time management mastery for ADHD moms program. The program starting right now, hello, immediate gratification. So sign up right now at https://bit.ly/adhdframework. That is https://bit.ly/adhdframework. And it's all lowercase letters https://bit.ly/adhdframework. So sign up now before you forget, okay, I can't wait to help you feel good about your day. But more importantly, I want you to feel good about yourself, sign up at https://bit.ly/adhdframework.
Patricia Sung 12:02
Reason number five, that this may be helpful for you to have a professional diagnosis is that it may help you within your personal relationships in easing the stress and lowering some of the tensions that are there. Because if you have someone who's really important to you, and they love you, but they're getting frustrated with the way that they feel they've been treated, or the way that life is shaking out sometimes and not always, sometimes that helps for them to know like you're not doing these things on purpose.
Patricia Sung 12:28
You genuinely have a medical condition that explains not excuses why you do things differently. And in some relationships that can help give people more patience with us and be a little more understanding. Now some people having a professional diagnosis will literally not change their mind and do nothing for you. But again, everyone's different.
Patricia Sung 12:49
Now, the last reason number six that I would say, here's a reason you definitely need a professional diagnosis is that if you plan to work in the ADHD arena, and you plan on helping others and say, I'm an ADHD coach, or a speaker, or what have you, and you're going to ask people to pay you money to help them with their ADHD and you're saying I have ADHD too.
Patricia Sung 13:12
I understand where you're coming from, then to me, you should have a professional diagnosis, you shouldn't go around telling everyone you have ADHD, and taking people's money if you don't actually know for sure you have ADHD. To me, that's just an icky kind of sketchy thing.
Patricia Sung 13:28
No, thank you. Because there's always that what if, what if you don't, and here you are going around telling people that you're helping them and you understand them, and you don't actually have the same kind of brain, it's all screwed up, right? A lot of people are coming to you and trusting you because of what you said. And not to say that you can't help them.
Patricia Sung 13:42
If you don't have ADHD, it's just you need to be honest with people. Now, this is a really touchy subject, because there's always that one bad apple that ruins the whole barrel in saying that they have some kind of disability when they don't. And then it makes all the other people who are questioning whether or not they have ADHD doubt themselves and feel like Oh, I'm just jumping on the bandwagon to get a piece of that disability pie. And while it seems utterly ridiculous, when you say out loud that people are fighting for the disability pie, why would you want some disability when you don't have any.
Patricia Sung 14:14
But there are there are some people who make really bad choices and will ruin it for the rest of us. But those people who do that are usually few and far between. Usually when someone's coming to me and saying Patricia, I think I have ADHD, you say all these things, and it sounds like me, and I'm struggling with this and this, there's a pretty good chance that they're right. You know yourself better than anyone else.
Patricia Sung 14:39
Even if you haven't been told that you do or haven't been given that validation. You know yourself well, because when we look inside our hearts and say am I doing the research? Am I truly understanding what it says when I say I'm part of this protected group of people who's not really that protected, but you know what I mean? Am I taking advantage of the situation? I gotta be honest 99.9% of people who are questioning that, if you are questioning whether or not this is you, then you're probably one of those people that truly has ADHD.
Patricia Sung 15:11
It's just like when people worry about being a good mom, it's like you're worried about being a good mom, because you are a good mom. If you weren't worried about doing your job well and raising your kids, well, then I'd be concerned. But usually those people who are so worried about whether or not they're doing a good job, it's because they want to do their best. And trying your best to be a great mom makes you a great mom. And trying your best to understand ADHD and figure out whether this is truly a diagnosis you have a means that you're being responsible, and asking the right questions to figure out if this is you. That means that you're doing right by the rest of our community to say I want to make sure that I'm honoring this group of people before I jump on the bandwagon.
Patricia Sung 15: 52
So all this to say, you don't need a piece of paper to tell you that you have ADHD. You don't need another person to tell you you have ADHD to know you have ADHD. And yes, in some ways, it is a requirement. Like if you're working with the ADHD community, and you're saying I have ADHD, or you'd like to get medicine as one of your tools or you'd like to get accommodations in school or work. Yes, these are times when you need a diagnosis. But with just wanting a diagnosis, just wanting to know for yourself is enough. That is a good enough reason to go get one because it's for you in your mental well being and how you feel and move and interact in this world that matters.
Patricia Sung 16:33
So if you're questioning whether or not you have ADHD, you are welcome to choose self diagnosis and you are welcome to seek out help from someone who is well experienced in ADHD and ask questions, get some answers so that you feel better in your heart in in your mind and in your soul. And now that we've talked about why you might want to go down this path.
Patricia Sung 16:54
We are going to talk next week with Dr. Sasha Hamdani about how to go about getting your diagnosis and plenty more so after these two episodes, I hope that you feel confident in knowing enough information to where you know what to do. What's the right choice for you. Have an amazing week successful mama and we'll talk soon. For more resources, classes and community head over to my website motherhoodinadhd.com