Do You Have ADHD? How to Get an Adult ADHD Diagnosis and Find the Right Doctor to Help You - "Top Tips" Encore #149
Don't you wish there was a five-question Cosmo quiz that would tell you a definitive yes/no answer to the question "Do I have ADHD?"
Well, our brains are a little more complex than that.
I'm no doctor, but here's the first time I addressed this question on the podcast.
Let me point you in the right direction and help you figure out the right doctor that can help you find out if you have ADHD. Getting the right diagnosis from a qualified and experienced professional is the first step in your journey to healing and a joy-filled life.
**Note: This episode originally aired in June of 2019. As I take a break for the summer and quality time with my family, I'm sharing episodes that will help you get ready for the summer, support you with some integral support skills for ADHD, and then get ready for the new school year.
I'm cooking up some good stuff behind the scenes. Plus, I'll see you in the fall with brand new episodes! Talk to you then, Successful Mama!
To hang out with me over the summer, you can:
1) hop on over to our free Facebook community to meet your people and feel like you're not a weirdo -AND/OR-
2) join me on Wednesdays during our weekly meetings by signing up for my course, Daily Planning for ADHD Moms, where you'll get your day organized and actually show up for stuff mostly on time, or my program, Time Management Mastery for ADHD Moms where you'll create the best daily routine for you and your family that your ADHD brain will actually be okay with following. Get stuff done while you love your life & your brain.
Patricia Sung 00:00
Hey there successful mama, it's your friend Patricia Sung. How's your prioritizing? Are you making space for what you need? What matters to you? Are you resting? I recently asked myself these questions and the answers were terrible. No, I don't know. And no. So it was time for some reflection. How do I serve you well, and take care of me and my family at the same time, I know that I have to cut back on something in order to do more of another, which is not the solution I want to hear. But it's the realistic one. And that means taking a break from something I really love the podcast, and hang out with you each week. This is a very adulting decision on my part, because it's not what I want to do. What I want to do is make more episodes. I also want to spend time with my family during summer break, and I want to create space to serve my community better. This is a skill I've been working on with my ADHD coach is how can responsible Patricia and fun Patricia both get what they want. So when I look at this summer, and ask myself, How can I serve you better? Well, there's two places you can hang out with me either join our free Facebook group where there is a huge community of mamas who are amazing. We'll be there to answer your questions and cheer you on. And I love spending quality time with you guys in that group. Or you can join our student community because all of my students are invited to our Wednesday meetings. I've also got a lot of behind the scenes stuff going on to prepare for the fall. And I know I'll be at the zoo and swim lessons camp and all that. So that means this summer to make space for all that good stuff. I'll be sharing some oldies but goodies on the podcast straight out of the vault this summer.
Patricia Sung 01:40
Now, most of these are in the first 25 episodes I ever did. Full disclosure total perfectionist moment, I know that these first episodes are not as good as the ones I do now, because I've had way more practice. But I also know that there are some really great skills and information in this first group of podcasts. So I'm looking my perfectionism square in the face and sing to it new. I will not let you stop me from sharing important things with my mama's. One thing that I've learned the hard way in this podcast is that we learn by doing, we figure out what works by doing, not thinking about doing. And this is one way that I can be myself with you and say, I know that these are not the best episodes, but I know that they're really good information for you. So don't judge me. Okay, I chose episodes that will help you get ready for summer support you with some integral support skills for ADHD, and get ready for the new school year. So I'll see you in the fall with some new stuff. And hopefully I'll see you either in my student community or in my Facebook group. I'll link all that in the show notes so you know where to find me. Until then, talk to you soon successful mama.
Patricia Sung 02:46
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy. You can figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home or your family. I get your mama, parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life creatively, lovingly and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully, and in turn, lead our families well, at the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. but spoiler alert, you are already a great mom. ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess mama, you can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story. And I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to motherhood in ADHD.
Patricia Sung 03:50
One of the questions that I keep getting now that I started telling people about the podcast is a lot of people ask me, How do I know if I have ADHD? And you know, everybody wants this quick answer. That's like five question quiz out of Cosmo. That makes it really easy to know whether or not I have this mental disorder. But the truth is, we are a complicated beast. And there's not some magic online quiz that's going to answer that. I will tell you that I do really like the quiz that Dr. Hallowell gives in his books. He has ADHD himself. Right now I'm reading delivered from distraction. He also has driven to distraction and he has a really good comprehensive list of questions to kind of get you down the path. Now I know if you have ADHD you do not have the patience to wait until you dig up that book. And in the shownotes I will link to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fifth edition which most people just call the DSM five and that will give you a list of symptoms that are used for an official diagnosis. Keep in mind that you have to have at least five or six, depending on how old you are symptoms of these two lists, and one is for hyper activity, and one is for inattention. But the main thing I want you to think of is that when they create the DSM they are looking for, I mean, it says it in the name, it's statistical. So they have to be able to assign values to these symptoms. So what are the things they can't assign values to things like emotions, or executive functioning. So these things that they can't put a quantitative number on, like, I can't be like, Well, right now I feel like I'm a, I'm like an emotion seven. But, you know, my friend has said that she's feels an emotion of 10. When this happened like that, you can't do that in a research setting. So they're not going to talk about emotional things. And that's a huge part of Attention Deficit Disorder. So just keep that in mind that this is a useful tool for clinicians, but it is very clinical, in the way that it was created and used in scientific studies.
Patricia Sung 06:06
The other thing I'm gonna link to in the show notes is just for giggles, I love Rick Green, he's a hoot. And he has a funny video, and he calls it his unofficial ADHD tests. So if you want a good laugh, that's a great spot to so I'll put those in the show notes. But the truth is, if you think that you have attention deficit disorder, you really need to talk to a qualified professional. And that's one of the things I mentioned in my first steps podcast. Obviously, I am not a doctor, and I cannot diagnose you on a podcast. But what I can do is give you some pointers in the right direction and tell you my opinions on how I think you can find the right person, you've got to seek out a qualified professional who is experienced in ADHD, there are plenty of people who are qualified professionals in lots of things, but you need someone who is specifically experienced with attention deficit disorder, because they're going to be able to give you the best advice possible on this. For example, if you want to start the conversation with your primary care physician, that's a good starting point. But their specialty is primary care. So they're looking for red flags, for some kind of serious issue going on, they spend a lot of time diagnosing whatever you know, bug is going around. But that doesn't mean that they have the depth of knowledge that you're going to want in someone that you're going to spend time with long term for attention deficit disorder.
Patricia Sung 07:40
So if you have a sinus infection, you want to go see your primary care physician, and get some medicine to take care of that. But if you're looking for help with your brain, then you need to go find a brain specialist, we also need to keep in mind that our doctors are humans, they are not perfect, and they don't know everything. They have worked their tails off, to get through med school, and hone in on a certain specialty. So we can only expect them to know what they have seen and studied. When you get a diagnosis. Generally speaking, people are just so relieved to find an answer. And then comes all the questions of like, okay, what do I do now? How do I proceed forward, but sometimes you get an answer that just doesn't sit right with your gut. And in that case, you need to seek a second opinion, find another person, it's not going to hurt your doctors of feelings, that you went and asked for a second opinion. And if it does, you know what, I'm sorry, that that's not my job to make you happy person. But I need to know that I'm doing what's best. And hopefully, that second person or third person will validate where you need to go down the path, but you have to be the advocate for your care and find the right person for you. And this is something that I've talked about with my brother in law who's a doctor is that you see all these medical shows where the doctors have time to like, sit around and chat about patient's issues and, you know, really like roundtable and brainstorm what's going on. And that's not how our medical system works. That makes great TV but but that's not what insurance pays for, like insurance needs you to like be in and out. They're only paying for a small portion of the doctor's time. You know, the doctors have so many people scheduled back to back especially when you're like in a hospital system. And they don't get a ton of time to sit and chat with you and really get to know you. And that's what we need out of ADHD is we need someone who's going to sit there and get to know our history. That's the best way that someone can figure out whether or not you have attention deficit disorder. And that's not really what our medical system currently does. And so you may need to look for someone who you can pay pay for out of pocket so that you can pay for their extra time. I know, it's kind of like a double edged sword, you don't have the insurances help and paying. But then you also get to decide, I want to spend more time with this person, because you're the one paying for it. Once you meet with a few doctors also you'll find the right person that you're meant to work with. So don't feel bad in like, you know, you got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince like, just because it's the first doctor you meet, that doesn't mean that they're meant to be your doctor, they might be really awesome for somebody else. That doesn't mean they have to be awesome for you. And that's okay.
Patricia Sung 10:38
Do you wish there was a way to feel confident about your day, to know exactly where you need to be? When you need to be there and what you need to do today. I know what it's like to buy 15 Different planners and not use any of them for more than a week or two. When you're tired of disappointing your family, your boss and yourself. Imagine with me that tonight, when you look back at your day, you know that you did the things on your to do list, you showed up? Well, you feel productive and accomplished. That's why I created daily planning for ADHD moms, where I teach you how to keep a calendar and organize your to do list. When you learn these skills from another ADHD brain in super short videos, they finally make sense. So now you'll be able to keep up with the commitments you've made and feel confident in how you're organizing your day, you will walk away with an easy to stick to three step system to keep up with your calendar and a simple way to sort through the giant to do list and figure out what actually matters. Plus we have a weekly accountability group. So you can ask questions when you're stuck and jump back on the wagon when you fall off, because you will fall off. That's just part of ADHD. But now you will know how to prepare for that. So if you're ready to figure out your day in a way that makes sense both for mom wife and an ADHD brain, I want to help you make this happen. Join me at bit.ly/adhdplan. That's bit.ly/adhdplan it's all lowercase letters. I cannot wait to see you feel confident and competent in how you run your family life.
Patricia Sung 12:17
Now the reason I want you to find someone who specializes in ADHD is because they're going to have the experience and have more tools to help you out. And they can give you more advice that's tailored for what you need. The other part of this equation is that it's very common for people with attention deficit disorder to have other things going on. It's called comorbidity it's very common for us to have sleep problems, or anxiety or depression. There's I mean, there's a million different things that are just best buddies with ADHD and want to go hand in hand with them. And you may have to see different specialists for different things like the person you're seeing for your depression might not be the same person you're seeing for your attention deficit disorder, and that's okay. Is it more frustrating? Is it more effort? Yes. But know that it's okay, if you need to seek more than one opinion, or more than one doctor or more than five doctors like that's okay. That may be the road that you have to take. And you might end up seeing a doctor for medicine. But then in terms of actually going forward, you might want to see a therapist who's going to work through what happened in your past to help you work through that and move forward. Or you might want to see a counselor or a coach who's going to not worry about so much your problems in the past but look more like how are you going to deal with things that are going on right now and have a plan of action and move forward. So there's lots of different professionals on your team in making you the best person possible.
Patricia Sung 13:52
Now you might be thinking, Well, how am I gonna find this qualified professional. And one of the things I really liked in delivered from distraction is that Dr. Hallowell mentioned that if you don't have an obvious choice in your area, like, I mean, I live in Houston, which is one of the biggest med centers in the world. So there's plenty of doctors choices flying around, but like if you live somewhere far away, one of the best resources that I thought he mentioned, was looking at a child psychiatrist. And I know you're thinking I'm not a child, but the thing is, they're going to have the most experience with ADHD and often child psychiatrists will also treat adults but maybe they can lead you to the right person. So a lot of times it's just asking and finding a freight referral to get you to the right person. And then from a psychiatrist, you know, they're probably gonna want to see you in person but like if you need to find a really good coach or therapist, you also have the option to do like a Tella doc basically, where you can meet with them on the phone or through like Skype or zoom or one of those apps where you can talk to them not necessarily face to face, but still Meet with them, virtually face to face. So keep in mind that there's a lot of options out there for your professional choices.
Patricia Sung 15:09
The reason I want you to go see a qualified professional is because they can tailor things to you one on one and figure out what's truly best for you. If it turns out you don't have ADHD, super awesome. But obviously, there's something bothering you to the point where you think you might have it, and you want to be able to find what that is. So hopefully, they can provide some direction of like, Hey, I don't think you have ADHD, but maybe you need to look into anxiety or depression, or some kind of childhood trauma that you need to work through in order to find the right solution. Now I know, you're also probably thinking, Oh, my goodness, this sounds like a lot of expense. And I'm not gonna lie, ADHD is expensive. But here's the thing, if you had cancer, you're not going to even think twice about going to see a doctor, because you're like, hey, my life's on the line, I gotta do something about this. If you have poor eyesight, you don't think twice about going to the eye doctor and getting some glasses. If you have diabetes, you don't think twice about going to the doctor to get your insulin. So if you're willing to go to the doctor to take care of all these other pieces of your body, why are you not okay, going to the doctor to take care of your brain, we have this horrible stigma in our culture that having something wrong with your brain is awful. Well, I don't look at it as there's something wrong with my brain, I just view it that my brain is different. But I'm still going to take care of it. And I'm still going to show my brain the honor and respect it deserves as the center of my functioning, like Whole Body, Mind, Body Soul functioning. And I'm going to take really great care of it. Because people are always worried about like, well, what if this medicine causes this? Or what if you know all these side effects, but the thing is, I was listening to the I have ADHD podcast, and Kristen Carter was talking about like, Hey, what are the side effects? If you don't take your medicine? Like do you really think about? What are all the side effects of you not treating your ADHD? Do you think about the poor decisions you're making? Do you think about the more you're getting yourself into debt, or the addiction that you're feeding to self medicate? Or the prison time that you're serving? Because you make impulsive decisions? And you know, if you had stepped back and been like, let me think this through Oh, no, I wouldn't have done that. But in the moment, it just made sense. What are the side effects of all those poor decisions? Or those lopsided priorities, the relationships that are suffering in your life, if you knew that your ADHD was going to cause your divorce, 10 years down the road? Wouldn't you treat it now?
Patricia Sung 18:00
There's a reason you listen to this episode. something's bothering you to the point where you're not happy, where you don't have joy in your life. And so I want you to think about that side effect of just staying in that place where you were miserable, and not doing anything about it. Do you want to be in this same place next year? In 2020? Do you want to be dealing with the same issues? No, you don't. So let's do something different today. That's going to make the rest of 2019. And next year 2020 better than they were today? Okay, I did not know I was gonna get on such a soapbox today with this episode. But you know what I feel like somebody needed to hear that. Somebody needed a hard truth. That where you are right now is where you don't want to be a year from now. So I'm challenging you sweet mama, to do something different, to reach out and figure out what it is that's bothering you so much that you are not happy where you are. Because I want all of the joy filled life that you were created to have that you can enjoy your motherhood and your time here on this Earth, with your family and with your friends and not be struggling along. Is life going to be hard? Yes, ma'am. It is. But we can be joyful in those hard times.
Patricia Sung 19:32
So Mama, what are you doing to have a joyful life? If you haven't reached out to get a professional diagnosis, I just want to encourage you so much today, that that is going to be a relief off your shoulders. It feels so good to know what you're dealing with. And even if it takes you several months to sort out the right person, for you to meet with the right quality professional for you to spend your time and your money on that once you figure out what you're dealing with it is going to make your life so much easier, because you'll have a plan of attack and you'll understand why you are the way you are. So I need to give you a big giant hug. Because this was a tough episode. But I'm so glad that you listened to the end. And I love you so much sweet mama, and I wish you so much success in finding the right person to help you take the next step in your ADHD journey. I'll talk to you soon successful mama. For more resources, classes and community head over to my website motherhoodinadhd.com