How to Cope When Life is Overwhelming #250
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My 2024 word of the year was “Rest”. How did I do? Hmmm…
While this episode is a celebration of 250 podcast episodes and over a million downloads (what!?!), I'm also sharing how I navigated the hard stuff this year. And how I look at rest entirely differently now than in January.
Balancing the demands of motherhood, business, and my overall well-being has been a journey with unexpected twists—I often felt like I was assembling an IKEA bookshelf with the wrong instruction booklet! So I’m sharing step-by-step how I figured out how to get out of overwhelm amongst a lot of life changes, keep burnout at bay, and come out happier in the end.
Here’s what’s coming up for 2025:
This podcast: my first love of helping moms with ADHD…more episodes, more free support!
Free ADHD Anti-Anxiety Workshop: On January 23, 2025, dive into 3+ strategies to lessen anxiety. This first live session is free, offering practical tips to make an immediate difference to feel calmer and at peace. Sign up here.
Lighthouse: An Emotional Regulation Course for Moms: My best lessons from the last 2 years of Lighthouse groups! Focus on emotional regulation skills, so you can make decisions easily, remain calm during your kid’s meltdown, and hold your boundaries to keep your peace when your family pushes your buttons. Put your name on the waitlist for its arrival in 2025.
Rooted Group Coaching for ADHD Moms: Beginning in January, this group will provide a supportive space to explore emotional regulation, being on time, meal planning, and more. Join this supportive coaching group here. Early Bird Bonuses end December 12th!
Successful As A Mother Weekend Retreat for ADHD Moms: Put your name on the waitlist for the 2025 retreat and spend the weekend relaxing by the lake, hanging out with good friends, and loving yourself even when you’ve been told “I’m TOO Much”.
Not sure what you need but know you want my help? Have a virtual coffee chat with me and I’ll answer any questions you have and help you sort out what you want.
Links mentioned in this episode:
Lizzy’s 3 magical lists are inside of her $9.00 course How to Create and Sell Something Before You're Ready affiliate link.
New workshop alert!
Stop anxiety in its tracks!
Join me in my upcoming workshop: The ADHD Anti-Anxiety Workshop. In less than an hour, I'll teach you 3 ways to stop anxiety and immediately feel more relaxed and calm.
Cherry on top - it’s free. For now. Sign up today: patriciasung.com/workshop
Patricia Sung [00:00:00]:
My word of the year for 2024 was rest. How did I do? Let's discuss. Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I get you, mama. Parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life, creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully, and in turn, lead our families well.
Patricia Sung [00:00:52]:
At the end of the day, we just wanna be good moms. But, spoiler alert, you are already a great mom. ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess, mama. You can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story, and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to motherhood in ADHD. Hey there, successful mama. It's your friend, Patricia Sung. I don't know.
Patricia Sung [00:01:18]:
When I think about my word for the year, my immediate reaction is like, 2 thumbs down. You totally failed at resting. Like, if I think about the amount of physical rest that I took, I don't think I did a very good job. But when I look at overall, the progress that I've made this year, I'm like, oh, wow. I have made some serious strides this year in taking care of myself and allowing myself the space to rest and really leaning into, like, what is rest for me, Patricia? Like, what does that look like? Because I didn't take off huge swaths of time in the summer. Like, if you were here listening along the way, like, you know I was trying to figure out, like, how do I balance this new season of motherhood where I am working, and also I wanna be present for my kids, and how am I gonna get, like, all my business stuff done during the school day, but also, like, in the summer, they are not in the school. There is no designated time off and, like, you were here through that struggle of, like, what am I doing? How am I gonna make this work? And while I didn't do a lot of, like, sitting around, nothing. But, like, because I had that filter of thinking about, am I resting? I think I made different choices in the way that I approached a lot of things that I wouldn't have made had I picked a different word.
Patricia Sung [00:02:34]:
Because totally, honestly, like, this year was not restful. This year was hard. This year was full of a lot of thinking things were gonna go one way and they went a different way. And I felt like all year, I was trying to put together an IKEA bookshelf, but, like, with the wrong pieces. I felt like nothing fit quite right. Like, I'm trying to build the Billy bookcase, but I have the hems pieces. Like, it just didn't quite come together. And it felt like I was trying so hard to make things work that weren't working.
Patricia Sung [00:03:07]:
And having this filter of rest made me stop and look at things more clearly to be like, this what I'm doing, it doesn't feel restful. Effortless. And like, and I know that, you know, nothing in life is like effort free, but like I just kept looking at this one. I know that there is a another way that I could do this and be more true to who I am and be more sturdy and more solid. And so I feel like this year was a year of realizing that, like, I don't have to try to make everything work. Like, it is okay for me to be like, this did not work and I wanna change it and I wanna do it differently. Or, well, this kinda worked, but not really how I wanted it to, but that's okay because I can still do things in a way that aren't exactly how I wanted them to go, and it still be good enough. And I can say all this now because, you know, like, as I'm recording this, it's, like, almost December.
Patricia Sung [00:04:04]:
And I'm almost finished making the changes that I need to make in order to have my life set up in the way that really fits me and my family come January. Because we've had a lot of changes go on in the last couple of months in the way that my business functions, in the way that my husband's job is functioning. And, like, I know that you can imagine those times in your life where you've been like, wow. Could any more things change right now? I don't think so. Like, when you're going through, like, you're moving and somebody in your family is changing jobs and you've got, like, stuff going on with your kids at school and you're trying to deal with someone in the family having, like, an elderly parent with issues, and, you know, you're trying to be a good friend, but also look cute, but also work out and also a meal plan, and and you just get to this point where, like, dude, I can't do all of this. This is too much. Like, this is too much. And I got into this, like, like, in this season of, like, life is really overwhelming right now.
Patricia Sung [00:04:59]:
Everything feels like it's shifting and moving, and I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I don't know how I'm going to figure this all out. I'm looking around at all the pieces being like, I don't get how the puzzle goes together. Did somebody give me the wrong pieces? I don't get it. This isn't working and I'm tired. That's where I was in, like, September, October. I was just like, I'm tired. I have tried so hard to make this work and it's not working.
Patricia Sung [00:05:25]:
Something still is not right and I can't put my finger on it, and it was driving me bonkers to be like, I know that this isn't quite right, and I can't figure out what it is. And it's like that moment where you're looking at the pieces you have and realize the instructions don't match, but at the same time, you also don't have the instructions you need. And you're like, I know this isn't right, but I also don't know what the right answer is. So I wanna walk you through today. Like, here's the process of what I did to try to find the right answer. And, like, do I a 100% know it's right answer? No. I'm about 85 to 90% of the way executing it, but I'm not actually gonna know if it's gonna work until I get into about February. That's when I'll know whether or not this worked.
Patricia Sung [00:06:06]:
So it's scary. And, like, usually, when I do podcast episodes, I'm like, no. I have to know the answer before I do the podcast episode. And, like, no. Today, I'm walking you through my messy middle and being like, I'm not quite there. I'm almost done shifting all the pieces around, and I think this is the right answer, but I don't know. But this is how I create, like, alignment and peace in those times where things just feel like too much and know that, hopefully, you can do 1 or 2 of these things that helps you. Because I'm gonna give you the run through of, like, what I've been working on for probably, like, the last 3 months.
Patricia Sung [00:06:38]:
So I don't expect you to do all 3 months worth of work here in, one of podcast episode in your life in today. Okay? Just, you know, you don't have to do all this. But these are the steps that I'm taking as someone who is doing hard work to figure out how do I make my life fit me, and I hope that something along here is gonna help you too. Because honestly, this isn't really the episode I thought I was gonna be doing. I was gonna be like 250 episodes. And instead, I'm like, dude, this has been a white knuckle year, and I'm just trying to make it through. And I think I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes life's just really hard. And I can celebrate 250 episodes and be really vulnerable with you and say, like, dude, this is hard.
Patricia Sung [00:07:18]:
This was stressful. I don't know if I have all the answers. But the first thing I did was take an inventory on how I was feeling. I was looking at okay. I know that things aren't quite right because I can notice the signals in my body to give me the awareness to know that something's not right. And so if you want more info on this, go listen to episode 178 with Elizabeth Brink and Anna Lopez. They did a really great episode on, like, noticing what you need and, like, understanding, like, somatics and, like, just things like, do you know when you're thirsty? Do you know when you're hungry? I'm like, I'm just gonna pause here and take a sip of water. I clearly have not drank any water, and I'm multiple episodes in recording here.
Patricia Sung [00:07:59]:
Okay. I'm back. Noticing what signals I was getting to say, like, I am stressed out. Like, something's bothering me, and being able to have the awareness of knowing, like, something's not quite right. Something feels off. Being able to, like, put words to that lets me know, like, I'm not making this up. If I'm spending a lot of time doom scrolling or I'm working at my computer and I'm like, I have no idea what I just did for the last 20 minutes. Like, those things are telling me that I am not connected.
Patricia Sung [00:08:28]:
I am not aligned with myself. I need to rest. Like, things are not okay, but knowing that they're not okay is like step 1. You can't do anything about it if you don't realize what's wrong. So step 1 for me was identifying that I was in a stress response. Being able to look at, like, okay, am I in fight, flight, fawn, freeze? Like, do I need a break? That step 2 is, like, okay, I'm clearly stressed. I know that. Am I doing the basic functions that I need as a human? I love this quote.
Patricia Sung [00:08:59]:
I have no idea who made it up. But it's like saying, you know, humans are just complicated houseplants. It's like, am I eating? Am I sleeping enough? Like, am I drinking water? Am I moving? Am I resting? Like, what are the basic things that I need in order for me to take care of myself? Because my tendency is when things get hard, like, buckle down, keep on going, pull yourself up by the bootstraps kinda nonsense. And, like, no. When I am really struggling, pressing forward is not the automatic response. Yes. Sometimes that is something we have to do. We just have to get through it.
Patricia Sung [00:09:33]:
But that's not the only answer. Sometimes that answer is slow down, create space for things. Like, one of the things that I realized, like, my priority wise is that I want to have space for friends and for impromptu conversations. And I realized, like, my schedule was so full that at one point in October, a friend asked me to meet for coffee, and the first date I had available was November 18th. And, like, granted, it was, like, the week of the retreat, and I'm like, things are really crazy, and I got, you know, I keep bumping things like, oh, I'll deal with that after the retreat. I'll deal with that after the retreat. I'll do that after the treat, and I'll send, you know, you got 53 things to do after the deadline. I was like, oh, man.
Patricia Sung [00:10:11]:
I don't have a space in my calendar for somebody that I want to hang out with for, like, 4 weeks. That was, again, another awareness thing of, like, this is not how I want to live my life. This is not how I wanna have things set up. I need to have space for that. So I am arranging my life and, like, made space to spend time with friends. And I'm like, my logical mind was like, I don't have time for that. I don't have time to go to Friday morning bible study at the coffee shop. Even though I really like these ladies, I don't have time.
Patricia Sung [00:10:42]:
And when I start cutting out the things that give me energy, I know that something's wrong. It's, like, okay to do that for a little bit, but when that's the constant of, like, well, I'll just skip, like, that important thing. And not an important thing. Like that thing that gives me energy. I'm gonna skip that in order to get stuff done. That tells me that one, I'm not being aligned to my priorities, but 2, like, that's not rejuvenating me if I'm taking away the things that are going to make me feel better in order to do more thing. Like, what? The those gonna be like, woah. Woah.
Patricia Sung [00:11:14]:
Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. That doesn't make any sense. So I know that I need space in my calendar to be able to have quality time with people because that's one of the things that I was realizing. Like, I don't feel like I'm pouring into the relationships that are important to me.
Patricia Sung [00:11:32]:
And I wanna be able to have time after school to sit with my kids. And like, yes, I wish it like in my head it's like the story book. Oh, and then we sat and had snacks and did homework. And then of course, like every time I'm like, just tell your homework. It's not story book, but it's like, I want to be creating space in my calendar for the people and the relationships that matter. So all that going back of like, I wasn't doing the basic functions. I wasn't sleeping enough. I wasn't doing a great job eating.
Patricia Sung [00:12:01]:
I wasn't moving my body as much as I would like. I wasn't making space for energizing things like spending time with friends. So knowing that, like, okay, what can I do to put some of these basic functions back in so that I have the capacity to do more things? It's like, yeah, I wish I could just buckle down and get stuff done, but, like, that means I only have a small amount of energy if I'm not doing the rejuvenating things. So it's like a backwards thing that I have to do, like, retrain myself and being like, these things are important even though they seem like luxuries, they're not. These are the things that give you more energy. You need to have more of them, not less of them. The next thing I did was brain dump all of my problems. And I do this regularly, but I do have one big giant, like, what is stressing me out? Why do I feel so off kilter? And I dumped it all out of my brain, so it wasn't just stewing on it and, like, spinning in circles.
Patricia Sung [00:12:54]:
And then I asked myself, knowing what I know now, how would I set up my life if I was going to start from scratch? How would I set up my business if I was gonna start from scratch? Knowing all that I know, like, I'm 5 years in. We're 250 podcast episodes in. How would I set up the way that I help moms given all that I know? And I identified, like, what are the things I really love doing? I love teaching. That's why I love the podcast. I get to talk to you and teach you and help you. This is part of my business that I love. I love coaching. I love the deep dive into what's going on in your life and like helping with tangible things and actually getting in there and being like, okay.
Patricia Sung [00:13:36]:
Why are you always late? What can we do about that? How do we figure out what's causing that? You're struggling with your relationship? Okay. What's the obstacle? How do we get in there? What do we do to help you be the kind of partner that you wanna be? And hopefully, that inspires your partner to be the kind of partner they wanna be. How do we not get, you know, upset when our partner makes some, like, snarky comment? How do we keep from spiraling and that ruining our day? How do we stand strong when our kids are, like, on a tear and you're like, oh my gosh. Like, I did I really birth this human? Did I bring you into the world? Why did I do that? Like, to have the patience, to hold the boundary and not scream your face off when your tween is testing your patience. Like, I want to deep dive into that kind of thing. So when I look at these pieces of my business that I love and I want more of those, how do I make that happen? In my day, if I wanna be able to be with my kids after school every day, how do I make that happen? If I wanna be able to spend time with my girlfriends at least once every 2 weeks, wish it was more than that. How do I get that on the calendar? I started playing Mahjong, by the way. It's a great way to connect with the ladies in the neighborhood.
Patricia Sung [00:14:44]:
Like, how do I given all that I know, how do I want my life set up to be able to do that? I went back and printed out my foundational schedule, and I'm redoing that for January. And like, by redoing it, I mean, I tweak what I have already because we don't need to start from scratch, y'all. Just don't need to start from scratch. You just actually tweak what you but like, I'm going back to, like, the basics of what I teach and being like, oh, right, Patricia, you have these skills. You are too overwhelmed to remember that you own them in your brain. Let's go back and like, let's create these pockets of like, where you know, from your experience and your skills that are going to help you. Like, asking myself that question of like, given what I know now, how would I start from scratch, I was able to identify the things that I love. And I also did a deep dive into my business.
Patricia Sung [00:15:29]:
I mean, like, I got out like my business hat, because in case you didn't know as a business major in school, like and figure out like, what are the things that are, like, working the best? Because here's thing. What I do is work of the heart. This is work on the mission field and, like, there's nothing that I'm doing that's wasteful. There's nothing that I'm doing that's not good. Everything that I'm doing is being helpful. And I know that, like, as a mom who's trying to get all her work done during the school day, I only have so many hours. So I have to let go of some things that are really good in order to make space for things that are great. So I allow myself to, like, marinate.
Patricia Sung [00:16:02]:
I'm, like, given all this information, I just marinated on it. And I let myself sit there and, like, let my brain like, not literally sit there. Like, I was only sitting there. Like, I gave myself time to just kinda let all that float on my brain and let my brain kinda chew on it. And this is the point where I'm sure I was going into the week of the retreat. And I was asking the moms there for feedback, like, what do you need? What do you want? Because a part of me was like, do I just scrap the entire retreat? Like, is it worth all this effort? Like, it's it's hard to coordinate all that stuff. Like, I love it. But, like, is that really, like, the best use of my time if I only had this many day, like, hours in the school day? Is that it? And, like, I went into that weekend being, like, I love this and questioning, like, is this what I'm supposed to be doing? And, like, wow.
Patricia Sung [00:16:47]:
Like, the moms on the retreat, if you're listening, I love you so much. They gave me such good feedback and saying, like, this is what's really important to us. What's important to us is having this community in this quality relationships on this weekend. Like, we want to have more of that. How do we infuse that throughout the year? Like, we want to see you coaching. We wanna learn from that. We want things to be better. And the 3rd pose, like, being themselves and allowing themselves to, like, be who they truly are and that I create who they truly are and that I create space for them to be themselves, which is, like, the best compliment ever.
Patricia Sung [00:17:14]:
And they really mirrored back to me on what I really felt like what mattered. And, like, allowed me to see, like, my job is to be more Patricia. How do I be the best at, like, this deep profound relationship and community and change in people's lives? That's what I'm really great at. Because for a long time, like, when God asked me to start this podcast, he asked me to help as many moms as possible. And I thought that that meant helping, like, millions of people. And, like, it may it may still be. I don't know that. That's the part about getting a mission.
Patricia Sung [00:17:51]:
And sometimes they don't come with a lot of instructions. Like, I thought though that I was supposed to be helping bazillions of people in more of, like, a wide way than a deep way. But, like, truly me, I am excellent at deep connection. Like, when I meet someone new, I don't wanna talk about the weather. I'm like, hello. Tell me your deep seated traumas. I would love to discuss What do we have in common? How can we really, like, dig in and discuss, like, the good stuff, the deep stuff. Let's chew on it.
Patricia Sung [00:18:17]:
Like, I am not a service person. So it gave me this chance to reflect back and ask for feedback from the people who matter to me. What really matters and how do I be the most Patricia that I can be to make the most impact doing what I'm really naturally good at? And in that time to be, like, able to, like, marinate. I'm like, no. I don't wanna give her to the retreat. I love the retreat. I wanna double down on the retreat. How do I make the retreat easier? How do I make it simpler? And by the way, I already booked the location for next year.
Patricia Sung [00:18:45]:
I love it so much. It's so cute. Oh, and, like, it allowed me to say, like, do more of what you love and, like, get rid of the hard stuff. Like, if it's not, like, working excellently, get rid of it. Do more of what matters. And in that time of, like, letting myself marinate and getting feedback. So, like, feedback from the mamas about the retreat, talking to my husband about, like, how do we make the changes in our in our home life work and, like, getting of all that together. It's like, I gave myself this time to marinate on it.
Patricia Sung [00:19:11]:
A lot of times, when we have ADHD, we wanna find the solution right now, and that's not always possible. I really wish it was. I like solutions right But it's okay to give yourself the time to marinate and, like, time to mourn. Like, some of the things that I'm gonna have to, like, take out of my business, like, I love them. And it's okay to be sad that I'm not doing good things, but I have to let go of good things in order to make space for great things. And the same applies to being a mom. We don't have to be good at everything, but can we be really great at the stuff we're really great at? So while maybe you're not the best like chef, can you be the best like, science project maker or the best bedtime story, but you don't have to be the best imaginative play person. Like, you don't have to be great at all the things.
Patricia Sung [00:19:55]:
Let go of the things that you're just okay at or terrible at or good at and allow yourself to be really great at what you're great at. At. Anxiety can be debilitating. And oftentimes, it's obvious, stage fright, heights, claustrophobia, panic attacks. But anxiety can also be subtle when you can't fall asleep at night thinking about your sick parent or your teen who's struggling making friends. It can be helicoptering around your toddler at the playground or not listening to your partner because you're in your mind spiraling about your kid's school struggles. People with ADHD can hyper focus on these worries to the point where your worry takes center stage. But what you really want to be is present in the moment, more carefree, feeling lighter, having that space and the freedom to be the fun mom that you thought you would be.
Patricia Sung [00:20:44]:
If you're ready to feel more relaxed and calm every day, join me in my upcoming event, the ADHD Anti Anxiety Workshop. In less than an hour, I will teach you 3 ways to stop anxiety in its tracks. It's time to let go of the grip anxiety has on your happiness, and for you to step into the main character role of your everyday life. Cherry on top, it's free for now. It will be a paid course shortly after, so sign up while there's still no charge. Head over to patriciasung.com/workshop, and sign up for this event. Now, if it is after the event, still head over to that link. It'll have the information on how to get the workshop, and see whatever new workshop I have coming for free.
Patricia Sung [00:21:25]:
Again, that's patriciasung.com/workshop. It's time to say no to worrying. The workshop is taking place on January 23rd, that's a Thursday, at 11 AM CST, which is noon EST. And sometimes, like, we still have to do those things that we're not super excited about, but, like, can we just do them in a good enough way? Like, is that possible? Like, are frozen foods a doable thing for meal plans? Great. I'll find the healthiest options of frozen foods. And we're gonna do that because that's the easiest way to like be passable on healthy foods. But I'm not a chef and I don't wanna spend a lot of time doing that. So like, in this time of, like, marinating and morning, I focused in on identifying my goals and my priorities.
Patricia Sung [00:22:13]:
That's what allowed me to say, like, hey. I'm cool with frozen chicken nuggets as long as we had some vegetable in there. Because I decided that my priority was everybody got fed and they ate some vegetables. Cool. Like, we were not built to do everything all at once. So when we identify our priorities and our values, that allows us to focus in on what really matters. Because it also gave me the reminder that I was operating out of this, like, scarcity mindset of, like, I don't have enough time to get all this done. There's too many things going on.
Patricia Sung [00:22:43]:
There's no way I can do it all. And I kept focusing on, like, all the things that were too much to do, and I didn't have time. Instead, I said, you know what? God gave me this mission. So he's gonna also give me the resources to do it. Like, he's not setting me up for failure. So odd, even though I feel like I don't have enough time to get all this done, I think I'm I'm I'm gonna change the way I'm thinking about it. I am choosing to say that I have enough resources to get done the things that are most important, and it's okay to let go of the things that aren't that important. And I can do this.
Patricia Sung [00:23:15]:
So I went in, like, to making the plan, which is the next thing, making the plan, considering what I can change, what I can't change, what do I want, what do I not want, and making that plan based on all that stuff that I had just thought about. Because while I asked myself the question of, like, okay. Well, you know, knowing what you know now, how would you create your business from scratch given all of your experience? There's still some things you can't get rid of. Part of me would, like, love to travel the world and take my kids around and homeschool them and, like, see the whole world. But, like, right now, my mother in law's in the last stages of Alzheimer's, and we have ordered our lives around the fact that we wanna spend as much time with her while she still kind of has some of her personality sort of left. And there's not that much time left before she's not going to know who we are at all. So we have ordered our lives in the way that we can be here in Houston and spend as much time with her as we can, because we know we don't have a lot of time left. So I'm still taking that into consideration as I'm making my plan.
Patricia Sung [00:24:11]:
I'm not moving to Bali. Like, that dream is not happening right now, and that's okay. So as I go into this plan considering, these are the things I can change, but these are things I can. Here's what I want, what I don't want. And I gave myself a deadline for that decision. I had to, by the end of October, figure out how I was going to make my team work with less hands, and I was gonna figure out this is how I can order my business to be able to do it within the school hours, knowing that I'm gonna have less help, knowing, like, I can always change that decision later. It's okay. But I think one of the places we've really struggle as women with ADHD is trusting that we're making the decision given the information that we have.
Patricia Sung [00:24:52]:
We don't trust our own decisions. And there's so much of a domino effect that happens when we don't trust our own decisions. There's the flip flopping and the, you know, well, I don't know. Maybe I should do this, maybe I should do that. And then getting mad at yourself if that wasn't the quote right decision. But I know that right now, I'm making the best decision I can given the information that I have. I can always change it later if I get more information, but right now, I trust that this decision is the right one. And I know that because I listen to myself.
Patricia Sung [00:25:20]:
I know my signals for knowing of when I'm in alignment and when I feel solidly about something. And when I have, you know, made sure that I considered the my values and my priorities and I like I know when I'm making a good decision, given what I have. It's not possible for us to have all the information until after the fact. So I trust that I know what it feels like when I'm making a good decision for me, and I can always change it later if I need to. From there, the next step was writing out the steps of those projects. What are the things that need to change in order to make those happen? I use Lizzie Goddard has the magical three list when she sets out on a project. If it's a free resource of hers, I'll link it. If it's something that's in one of her p classes, I will obviously not link it, but maybe I could figure out how to link to wherever you can buy that.
Patricia Sung [00:26:06]:
But she looks at the three list of how when you get a project done, there's the this is, like, the bare bones must get done for it to to be, like, considered, like, done or, like, if it's a, you know, a new product you're offering, like, this is it's it's now for sale. Right? Then there's the, like, here's the things I really like to get done. Like, this would make it a lot easier or a lot, like, more sorted. But, like, if it doesn't happen, it's not the other world. And then there's the list of, like, I would really like these things to happen one day for it to be, like, but, like, and is that gonna happen right now? No. It's like, you know, your future wishes and desires there of, like, I would hope that it ends up that I can do all this other stuff. So I looked at as I'm, like, reordering my business to be able to fit this new season we're in. It's like, here's what I have to get done on this project to be doable.
Patricia Sung [00:26:55]:
Here's what I would like to get done and if I can make that happen, great. But, like, there's a deadline on this wrapping this up and if it doesn't happen, doesn't happen. And then all of my brainstorms are like the wishes and the hopes are there too. So I've been going through writing all this out and I'm like, okay, I think that this is doable. I think that this is a functionable plan for 2025 in our new family setup, in my new business setup, and then I ask for help. So, like, I pick somebody who you trust, who has enough experience to say, like, yeah, that's a good idea or not. And ask them, like, is this doable? Does this make sense? And, again, I still have to know what my, like, true north is on here being, like, yes. That's what I need to do.
Patricia Sung [00:27:33]:
Because other people always have opinions. And, like, I want them, but, like, to a point. And so once I made out that plan and I had a second pair of eyes to be like, is this reasonable? What I've been doing for the last month is singular focus on what is next and looking at the different projects and the three list for each project and being like, is it done? How do I get it to done? Is that good enough? What's my timeline? Do I have time to get these a couple of these nice to do things ready or not? I move along. So when I look at, like, what's coming up, I'm like, how did I incorporate more teaching into what I'm doing? I've got my annual birthday sale coming up next week, so you'll also know next week's podcast about that. That's on my like, something that I teach. And I've got the anti anxiety workshop coming up in January. That's free for the original, like, airing of it. And I know that, like, I can do this teaching that I love.
Patricia Sung [00:28:23]:
Every few months, I can do another workshop. Some of them are gonna be free so that I can still help as many people as possible who don't have access to resources. It's like I've got the podcast with free resources. I'm gonna have some free workshops. And knowing that like, I'm in alignment with my heart and being able to help as many people as possible is to make sure that I'm offering quality free resources as much as I can. Oh, so go sign up for that workshop if you haven't. It's patricasun.comforward/workshop. It's the ADHD anti anxiety workshop.
Patricia Sung [00:28:51]:
It's January 23rd. It's gonna be awesome. And it's just for you that one time. It's gonna come back as a course probably, like, in February. You know, it won't be, like, it'll be less than a 100 bucks, but, like, if you need that free support, go sign up now. And then if not, you can go you can go buy later, you know, Support the cause y'all. Okay. Let's see.
Patricia Sung [00:29:08]:
What else? The retreat. I'm like, I have doubled down on the retreat. I've already booked the next year location. It's gonna be October, 10 through 12. We're gonna be out in nature this time. I'm so excited. If you wanna be in the know, put your name on the wait list. I will link that in the show notes.
Patricia Sung [00:29:23]:
Like, there's only 14 spots. Before it was, like, open to however many. No. This year, there's 14 spots. That's how many tiny homes I got. I'm so excited. We're seeing tiny homes. Tiny homes I got is 14.
Patricia Sung [00:29:32]:
It's gonna be so good. So go sign up. Push your name on the wait list. It's gonna be open in the spring. In terms of deep relationships and deep problem solving, I have a few one on one clients. If you wanna do that, again, I'll link that in the show notes where you can set up a coffee chat if you wanna ask questions or you can go buy a package of, you know, 6 coaching spots. And then in January, group coaching starts up again. But I'm tweaking it so that it's truly just coaching.
Patricia Sung [00:29:58]:
I'm turning Lighthouse into its own self paced course so that everyone will have access to emotional regulation skills and training. And then in coaching, we'll be truly coaching. We're gonna meet twice a month and deal with whatever you got going on. I wanna be able to help you, like, figure out how do you feel about stuff? How do you trust your decisions? How do you stop flip flopping around about everything? And make the dang decision. I wanna make sure that you figure out, like, how do you do the basic care if you're not sleeping, or you're not moving, or you're not eating, you're not drinking water. Like, that's something we can talk about. I wanna help you get out of overwhelm. When you're just sitting there and spinning and staring at the mess in your house and you don't even know where to start, like, I wanna help you get out of that so that you can actually make the first step in doing something different.
Patricia Sung [00:30:42]:
If you wanna stop being late all the time, if you wanna figure out meal plan solutions finally, if you wanna stop being anxious and having panic attacks, if you want to stop being the angry mom who yells at everyone and is swearing at her teenager, if you want to be working on your relationship because you know your partner has one foot out the door because they can't take any more of this ADHD nonsense, They don't wanna hear any more excuses about it. What are you gonna do about it? This is what I want to help you with. I want you to, like, have a clear plan and, like, exact steps, like, what you're gonna do to move forward. I want you able to get quality feedback from me and be able to adjust as you go. So in group coaching for moms, it's going to be true group coaching, and we will tackle whatever's going on because they want you to be able to make huge strides in those issues quickly. And then you're able to listen to what the other moms are going through too, and be able to incorporate that in as you need. Like, technically, the group's gonna start in January. I'll be talking all about it, come in the new year.
Patricia Sung [00:31:40]:
But I actually have sign ups within my community going on now. And I felt like I just felt a tug that somebody listening needed to know that that was available. So if you want to jump in right after the holidays, like, you can. Go put your name on the wait list and I'll send you the information. It's patriciasun.comforward/grouphyphen wait list. I'll link it in the show notes. But that's something that you need sooner than later, and you can't wait till halfway through the springtime to do something about that. Like, go put your name on the wait list because the early bird sign ups are going on now.
Patricia Sung [00:32:13]:
Again, it's patricia sung.comforward/grouphyphen wait list. But, like, this is my plan for next year and how I can make the most impact in helping moms with ADHD. It's through showing you, you can be who you are, and this is a safe place to do that. So that you can have community and, like, good relationships with other moms who get it, And the kind of coaching that's really gonna move you forward. Okay. I got a little off track there. Let me go back to the last step. The last step was singular focus on what is next.
Patricia Sung [00:32:45]:
Is that as I figured out, like, what the most impactful things that I can be doing here, the podcast, teaching, coaching, the retreat, is that I was singularly focused on getting one thing done at a time because the multitasking is a fallacy. It's too hard. No. It's too much. So for example, like, when I was booking the retreat, I want that treat start to finish. Everything's ready to go. But sometimes singular focus meant, I'm gonna write all the emails I'm gonna send this week. And they might have been about different things, but I'm writing, you know, all the emails for the whole week at one time.
Patricia Sung [00:33:17]:
So it's singularly focusing on what thing needs to get done next and not looking at the 47 other things on the to do list. It's like, as I was looking through how am I gonna rearrange my whole dang life in 2025, It was really overwhelming. That's why I was so frustrated is that I had to rearrange so many pieces of my life. It wasn't just work. It wasn't just my family. It was, like, oh, so many different things. And if I looked at the whole list of a 100 things I need to get done, it's too much. But if I just look at, okay, here's the next step or here's the next project.
Patricia Sung [00:33:49]:
I'm only looking at this one thing right now. Even if the focus was like a 2 hour focus or a one day focus or 1 week focus. Like it, the fact that I was just look at this one thing. You don't have to solve all the problems today. Allowed me to get more done in the last month than I think I have probably all year trying to figure out how to make the not quite fitting puzzle pieces work. And that would actually be the last step, is celebrating what I have done. When we have ADHD, a lot of times we don't celebrate. We don't stop to be like, wow.
Patricia Sung [00:34:19]:
I did a good job. I put on an awesome retreat. I'm publishing episode number 250. I have done some amazing things this year. And stopping to recognize, hey, there's a 1000000 downloads for this podcast. That's worth celebrating. And not getting caught up in, like, the what I could have done or what I should have done, but reminding myself that what I did was really good. It was great.
Patricia Sung [00:34:43]:
It was wonderful. It was important. It mattered. It had impact. It does have impact. That's the final step I'll leave with you is appreciating what you've done because you have done a lot of stuff. And yes, there's always gonna be more that you wanna do. But you've done some really great work this year.
Patricia Sung [00:34:59]:
You've loved your family well. You've spent quality time with the people who matter. And we're not gonna put the caveat on of like, well, but I could have done this or I go no. We're just gonna celebrate. I can celebrate that after 250 episodes, I know that I have created so many free resources for you. I've been able to touch thousands of moms, and I will continue to have quality free resources available so that all moms have quality support they can access. And that my focus will be that and creating the time and space for deep connections to really help moms make huge breakthroughs in being like, who you really are, being able to trust yourself. Because I know that when I say like, I yes, I wanna help millions of moms.
Patricia Sung [00:35:44]:
But, like, when I look at the impact that I can make in one family, and I can see how, like, how much different your life is, but then you tell me what's different in your kids and in your relationship, they're like, my kid knows how to be calm too. My kid knows how to use their planner at school. My kid didn't punch his sister in the face when she said something really stupid the other day. Like, those matter. And, like, my impact on one family is rippling out into 1,000. So, like, the work that you're doing in your family, ripples out to your kids and your partner and your community, and it continues to make a difference. And that when I'm pouring in that deep work, I am helping millions of moms. When you write me sweet notes and tell me like, well, I was telling my friend about this, and so she ended up taking care of herself too.
Patricia Sung [00:36:33]:
Like, what? Your impact means so much. And I am so lucky that I can live out my dreams every day, even when it's so hard and it's so overwhelming. Even when I look around and go, I have no idea how I'm gonna get all this done. It does not seem humanly possible. But then I'm gonna put that panic mentality aside and be like, you know what? I don't know how I'm gonna do all that, but I'm not gonna put the energy towards wondering how I'm gonna get it all done. And I'm gonna put my energy into getting it done. What settled saying, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Like, it is okay for you to pause and take a deep breath and say I'm just taking one bite today.
Patricia Sung [00:37:11]:
Because I too am stopping today to pause and take a deep breath and say it's all worth it. And that's how I deal with it when life just feels like too much. Pause, take a deep breath. Letting it out slowly as you can on the exhale and say it's worth it. It will all get done. Eventually, not today, but it'll all get done, and it's all worth it. I'll talk to you soon, Successful Mama. For more resources, classes, and community, head over to my website, motherhoodinadhd.com.