ADHD Energy Management from ADDA's 2024 TADD Talks (Best of Friends, Winter Holidays 2024) #253
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Every October, ADDA hosts TADD Talks, short podcasts shared by ADHD experts around the world. For this year’s ADHD Awareness Month, I shared about “ADHD Energy Management: End the Cycle of Burnout Crash After Frenetic Productivity.”
I’m talking about 3 reasons we spin through the cycle of “getting a million things done with peak efficiency” to the “overwhelming burnout so you can’t get out of bed” cycle, and what to do about it!
Listen to the full lineup of October’s TADD Talks and subscribe here: ADDA’s TADD Talks!
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Welcome to the Best Of Friends Series, where you are meeting a few of my friends in the podcast community. I’m sharing interviews that I have done on other friends’ podcasts. Not only do you get a new episode, I hope that you’ll find a few shows to add to your podcast queue.
There’s a wide variety of topics coming your way, so keep an eye out for a new podcast to binge each week this January.
New workshop alert!
Stop anxiety in its tracks!
Join me in my upcoming workshop: The ADHD Anti-Anxiety Workshop.
In under an hour, I'll teach you how to —
>> use 1 simple movement to disrupt growing anxiety so you can avoid a total shutdown
>> save yourself the embarrassment of panicking in public with a subtle move to pull yourself together
>> stop anxiety in its tracks quickly and easily with repeatable skills so peace can be yours long term
Cherry on top - it’s free. For now. Sign up today: patriciasung.com/workshop
Patricia Sung [00:00:02]:
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I get you, mama. Parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life, creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully, and in turn, lead our families well. At the end of the day, we just wanna be good moms. But, spoiler alert, you are already a great mom.
Patricia Sung [00:00:52]:
ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess mama. You can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story, and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to motherhood in ADHD. Hey there, successful mama. It's your friend, Patricia Sung. While I am on break for the next few weeks, I am bringing you some friends. This is my best of friends episode, and these are all interviews that I've done for other people's podcasts. First of all, thank you to these hosts for sharing their episode with us.
Patricia Sung [00:01:23]:
And I want you to go in the show notes and see where do you find them? Go listen to their other episodes. Put their show in your queue, in your download list so that you have an extra friend to hang out with when you're cleaning or on a walk or riding in the car. Every time I am interviewed, I find myself often sharing very similar things, but there's always some nuances and new things that, oh my, wow. I have never shared that before. I've never talked about this in this way. And I can't wait for you to get a new flare and perspective and, a new podcast friend to join you today. So listen in to this episode on A Friend's podcast. Go check them out and enjoy this best of friends episode.
Patricia Sung [00:02:05]:
Here is my ADHD Energy Management talk from Adda's 2024 TED Talks. We've all been there. When you have worked your butt off to get all of the stuff cleaned out of the garage and, bam, you don't have any energy left to put the stuff back in the garage, or you have rage cleaned your entire house because you have guests coming tomorrow, and then, lo and behold, you have no energy left the next day to actually hang out with the guests who are at your home. Or you stayed up real late, reading your favorite book or diving hard core into that brand new hobby that you're just gonna stick with this time. And then you have nothing left to give the next morning. How do we overcome this hurdle of frenetic productivity where we feel like we're on top of the world, and then the crash that comes after it of burnout and overwhelm. And literally, I cannot peel myself off the couch. Welcome to ADHD Energy Management.
Patricia Sung [00:03:00]:
The concept that we can actually do something about the level of energies we use throughout the day so that we don't end up crashing before we have the option to. I'm Patricia Sung, host of the motherhood and ADHD podcast and ADHD coach for moms who have ADHD. I am honored that Adda has invited me here today to talk to you about this very important topic that a lot of times we don't even realize we are doing to ourselves.
Patricia Sung [00:03:25]:
Been there, done
Patricia Sung [00:03:26]:
that. So let's dive into three reasons this happens to us when we have ADHD, and
Patricia Sung [00:03:30]:
what are we gonna
Patricia Sung [00:03:31]:
do about it? Of course, I have to give the disclaimer that there are not only three reasons that this happened to us because you are a whole human who is varied and interesting and different. So there's not only three reasons this happened. And side note, my friend, Liz, Louis, and I are presenting at the ADHD conference in November in Anaheim. So you should come and hang out with us because we're talking about that topic right here. But so that I stay on task for my 9 minute talk, I'm gonna stick with 3. The first reason that this happens to us when we have ADHD is that while we burn gas, like the gas guzzling supercar Bugatti, we recharge like an ancient Tesla. Driving a race car means that we can put the pedal to the metal, we can hit that on ramp and be merging in 2 seconds slot. So we get things done.
Patricia Sung [00:04:18]:
We make things happen, which really is a pretty great strength. Problem is when you recharge like a worn out Tesla, when we need to recharge that energy, that means that we're sitting there at the outlet plugged in, waiting for the battery to recharge, and we can't go anywhere. We can't do anything while we wait for that charge to happen. So when we capitalize on that gas guzzling ability without the preparation of knowing, oh, that's gonna take me a lot of recharge, We tend to get ourselves into trouble. So we can use the strength to our advantage, but if we are constantly running with the pedal to the metal, we are going to use up all of the energy that we have for the day in a short amount of time, and not have extras left over. This means that we either have to slow down a little bit, which not our strength, or we need to recharge in between so that we can make it the distance. So what do we do about that? What are the ways that you recharge best? This doesn't have to be a fancy thing. It doesn't have to be a weekend at the spa resort.
Patricia Sung [00:05:17]:
We can recharge in the little things that refresh our souls, our energy. It can be something as tiny as stepping outside when you work at home. Look at the leaves blown in the trees. Take a little twirl around the driveway and head on back inside. It can be grabbing a timer and grabbing your sketchbook for 2 minutes, doing something artsy and fun. Having those little ways to recharge with guardrails in place so that we don't get lost into our hyperfocus mode that will give a recharge to our day before we hit empty, and then get stuck at the plug for 45 minutes, instead of driving home the rest of the way. Because while that car recharges in 45 minutes, we sure don't. Anxiety can be debilitating.
Patricia Sung [00:06:01]:
And oftentimes, it's obvious. Stage fright, heights, claustrophobia, panic attacks. But anxiety can also be subtle. When you can't fall asleep at night, thinking about your sick parent or your teen who's struggling making friends. It can be helicoptering around your toddler at the playground or not listening to your partner because you're in your mind spiraling about your kids' school struggles. People with ADHD can hyperfocus on these worries to the point where your worry takes center stage. But what you really want to be is present in the moment, more carefree, feeling lighter, having that space and the freedom to be the fun mom that you thought you would be. If you're ready to feel more relaxed and calm every day, join me in my upcoming event, the ADHD Anti anxiety Workshop.
Patricia Sung [00:06:46]:
In less than an hour, I will teach you 3 ways to stop anxiety in its tracks. It's time to let go of the grip anxiety has on your happiness and for you to step into the main character role of your everyday life. Cherry on top, it's free for now. It will be a paid course shortly after, so sign up while there's still no charge. Head over to patriciasung.com/workshop, and sign up for this event. Now, if it is after the event, still head over to that link. It'll have the information on how to get the workshop, and see whatever new workshop I have coming for free. Again, that's patriciasung.com/workshop.
Patricia Sung [00:07:23]:
It's time to say no to worrying. The workshop is taking place on January 23rd, that's a Thursday, at 11 AM CST, which is noon EST. Reason number 2, that we run into this vicious cycle of high productivity followed by burnout, is that we want to capitalize on the energy rush when we have it because we worry that we're not gonna have one soon or that we don't know when one will happen again soon. And this feeling of unpredictability means that we're looking for stability and safety. We want to know that if we have this burst of energy, we are going to use it wisely. And use it well, because we wanna get every ounce and drip of productivity out of that energy rush while it's here because what if I don't have one for a long time? The unfortunate side of this is that when we are always pushing to burn out, at the end of every run, we then train our bodies into this vicious cycle of this is what we do. We go hard, and then we crash. We go hard, and then we crash.
Patricia Sung [00:08:22]:
And we develop that habit. It's really hard on our nervous system because our brains are designed to protect us. They are designed to keep us safe. So it is going to make you rest if you don't choose to rest. I know you're thinking, Patricia, I don't wanna rest. That sounds boring. Well, what are we gonna do about that? Resting doesn't have to look stagnant. It doesn't mean doing nothing.
Patricia Sung [00:08:43]:
It doesn't mean meditating and humming for 3 hours. That doesn't have to be your version of rest. Your version of rest can be active. It can be mobile. It can be just the way that you need it in order to recharge you. One of my favorite questions to ask my clients is, what did you love doing when you were 7? When you were a little kid, what were the things that you love doing the most? That is a great place to start on what are the things that will allow you to rest and recharge during the day, and slow down enough to create that space to recharge. So while we can learn to function without pedal to the metal, in the meantime, you can learn to recharge in little bits and pieces throughout the day or throughout the week, so that you're not crashing by the end of the day or the end of the week. And the third reason that we end up in this frenetic energy to burnout cycle, is that we often don't even realize that we are in pedal to the metal mode.
Patricia Sung [00:09:42]:
We have lost touch with the signals within us that let us know that we are pushing ourselves too hard. We are not in tune with our own intuition to know, hey. Have you noticed that you haven't eaten at all today? Hey. Did you notice that you didn't drink any water yet? Did you notice that you have to pee? And you have had to pee for the last 10 minutes, and you haven't moved from your chair yet. When we've spent most of our lives ignoring the signals that are within s, which I won't get on that soapbox today, because I certainly won't be under 9 minutes, then we're not aware that we are even in the arena of misusing our energy. So let's choose one of those feelings I just mentioned or pick your own. And how do you know that you feel that way? How do you know that you're feeling hungry? Do you feel a rumbling in your stomach? How do you know that you're thirsty? Does your throat feel a little scratchy or maybe your lips are dry? How do
Patricia Sung [00:10:37]:
you know that
Patricia Sung [00:10:37]:
you need to use the restroom? Maybe you start to feel a little antsy and it's hard to pay attention to what the other person is saying. When you clue in to those little flags that tell you, oh, I'm feeling this way. This is what starts to begin our awareness of what we're actually feeling and thinking. So when we learn to check-in on those signals and to notice what does it feel like when I'm pushing myself too hard so that we know that we're doing it. Because the first step is awareness. We can't change something we don't know what's happening. So when we know we have this awareness of, oh, wow, I'm really pushing myself right now. That's the first point where we can start to make a change is knowing that we're actually doing it.
Patricia Sung [00:11:15]:
Thanks so much for hanging out with me today on this talk about energy management and head over to my website. For more resources, classes, and community, head over to my website, motherhoodinadhd.com.