Emotional Sponges: How to Stop Absorbing Other People's Feelings by Defining Your Boundaries & Building Your Emotional Regulation Tools, Behind the Scenes ADHD Coaching Lighthouse #205
When your child charges in the room raging or super sour, how do you react?
Do you immediately tense up, knowing that the battle is about to begin?
When your spouse arrives home, do you listen to the noises they make outside the door to prepare yourself if they’ve had a rough day at work?
Does your stomach fall into the pit of your stomach, because you know the rest of the night is ruined?
For most of my life, someone else’s bad mood would ruin my mood. Every time.
And I hated it.
It didn’t matter if it was family, friends, waitress, teacher… I felt them.
I didn’t want their sour, grumpy, or angry feelings poisoning my mentality. But I didn’t know how, or even that I could, separate their feelings from my own.
Many of us with ADHD, especially those who are more inattentive or socialized as women, are emotional sponges when it comes to other people's feelings, problems, and struggles.
From a strength side makes us super empathetic and great friends. Where it can become a struggle bus is when we don't know how to turn it off. Our big, messy emotions don’t have to be a liability!
It may have taken me 40 years, but I want you to know that it is possible to still be a highly empathetic and kind person who also holds tight boundaries and takes care of themselves.
Today I’m sharing one of the strategies to do it!
I pulled a clip from the last round of my ADHD group coaching program, Lighthouse, teaching how you can begin to define your boundaries, understand where and how you feel safe, and lean into your big emotions as a strength.
So get comfy, lower as many distractions as you can, and let’s dive into how you can keep the yuck out while still connecting with your children, spouse, or coworkers in a way that is comfortable and secure for you.
If you’d like more support like this, the next round of Lighthouse Group ADHD Coaching starts September 14th.
In 3 months together, we’ll get your daily schedule sorted and your emotional regulation tools sharpened, so that you can connect home to what matters to you, start trusting yourself again, and and build the life you want to live.
Register now, as there are only a couple of spots left: patriciasung.com/lighthouse
Patricia Sung 00:00
Are you a highly sensitive person? Do you take things personally, and and I think that's an air quotes personally, too, personally, are you an emotional sponge where you pick up everyone else's feelings around you and absorb them into how you feel. For most of my life, my ability to sponge and absorb other people's emotions was one of my least favorite qualities of myself, because I felt like I was always getting tossed around in the waves by other people and their storms. Now, it's one of my favorite parts about myself. And it's because I have the boundaries, to be able to still keep myself safe amongst everyone else's storms. I firmly believe that all of the struggle bus things that come with having ADHD, that like greatness of that skill, if you feel like it's affecting you in a negative way also means that it's affecting you in a positive way, when used in a different manner. And this is one of those things, the fact that I'm able to so greatly empathize with other people and see things from their perspective and understand where they're coming from really quickly, is one of the reasons that I'm a really great teacher, and I'm a really great coach, I think it's one of things that makes me a really great mom, because I can identify with other people, it makes me a great friend. But when I don't know how to use that gift in a way that is good for both me and another person, then it it harms me in a negative way. So today, we're going to be talking about how we create this boundary to be able to still absorb other people's feelings, and be empathetic, but yet also know how to keep ourselves safe and protected from other people's storms. Because this is such a common occurrence with ADHD. This is one of the things that we were working on in my last round of group coaching in lighthouse. So this is just one piece of the boundaries talk. We talked about it in a couple different ways. But today, I want to share that piece of the program with you because I know how valuable it is for all of us to know how to hold that boundary when you are a highly sensitive person. Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy, you can figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family, I get your mama parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully, and in turn, lead our families well, at the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. but spoiler alert, you are already a great mom. ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess, Mama, you can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story. And I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to motherhood in ADHD. Hey there successful mama, it's your friend Patricia Sung. Well, today I'm doing something a little bit different. I decided to give you a piece of my Lighthouse ADHD group coaching. That was from the spring round that we just wrapped up over the summer. Because like straight up, I have another round starting on September 14. And I know that somebody listening is needing this, somebody's listening needs help. And when you're trying to decide, like, do I want to invest this amount of time and money and energy and resources and all that into coaching? Like you want to know that what you're getting is the real deal, you want to know that you're getting good value, you want to know that this is really going to make a difference for you. And what better way to do that than to actually show you and give you a peek behind the curtain into like, what is it like during one of my coaching sessions? What is it going to feel like what are we going to do? What does that mean? Like, here it is, here's the piece and for all the other people listening because like honestly, like there's only so many spots in the coaching program. It's not like everybody listening is gonna join, like everybody else is gonna get just as much value out of it because this is really good stuff. But if you are at the point where you're like, I can't do life like this anymore, like I need something different. I need help. I want to do something different because I don't want to stay where I am right now. Listen in mama. The next round of Lighthouse ADHD group coaching starts September 14. So now's the time to sign up, you're going to head over to Patriciasung.com/lighthouse and you'll see all the information there. And to me like the reason that what I do is different, like I've never seen anybody else coach the way that I coach because I incorporate both the practical strategies. So like we're layering in all of these vital skills that we need as somebody with a ADHD to be successful. So like, it's the structure that is going to fit you, your life, your family, we are creating these flexible systems to help you run your family life. These routines or rhythms or whatever you want to call them are built in the way that you actually like them and want to do them because they help you. And they help you because they fit your ADHD like, we're not just making up plans to make up plans. We're making a system that fits you and your life and your family and what you need. So I'm pairing my coaching with my time manager Mastery Course, which means you get all that base foundational knowledge so that you understand like how your brain works, and what you need, and setting up that structure to fit you. Because honestly, as moms, like we don't have the luxury of flying by the seat of our pants, it's not an option, we have too many things to keep track of too many humans to take care of. Like, we can just fly by the seat of our pants, it's too many things to juggle. So we're layering in the structure this like practical strategy. But in order to make those practical strategies work, we need the emotional regulation skills. And that means knowing what creates calm for you, how do you be present in the moment? How do you know what you need, because a lot of us have ignored that for our whole lives. And we don't know what we need. So like getting in touch with like who we are, and knowing what do i Patricia need to be calm and peaceful and feel safe and be able to make good decisions and use my critical thinking and my problem solving skills to move forward. Because I'm in a place of safety where I can dedicate brain space to that piece, I'm not just surviving. So that's part one of our emotional regulation tools. Part two is then being able to recognize when things are escalating, and things are starting to fall off the rails having that awareness to know like, oh, things are not going so well. Because a lot of times we ignore a lot of those signals, like we don't even notice when we have to pee, or when we need to eat lunch or need a drink of water. So how are we going to recognize that like, Hey, I'm starting to get really upset here, or I'm sorry to not feel safe here. Having that awareness to know when things are starting to escalate. And then part three is then like when things start to go wrong. How do I regain control of my emotions? How do I create calm? How do I take care of myself in that moment when things are stressful so that I can bring myself back down to a point of regulation so that I can then make like the bigger like grander choices that need to happen? Like in the moment when things are going nuts, what do I need to do to take care of myself in that moment, and find ways to be calm and present and grounded so that I can bring my brain back online and make good choices? So we're layering in the practical strategies that come with time management mastery in with the emotional regulation strategies, and those skills in that whole toolbox so that we can know, hey, what do you need to create calm? How do I know when things are no longer calm? And like recognizing that before it turns into a disaster? And then in the moment, how do I regain that calm, because when we know how to create flexible structures and systems that fit us, and we know how to create calm and recognize when we don't have it and regain it in that moment, we then have the capacity to be present for our kids. And we can then teach them how to do all of these things themselves. So especially if you have a kid who's neurodivergent, but also these skills apply to other people do, like, how do we help our kids create structure and systems that fit them? How do we help them stay calm in the moment and regain their regulation, when it started to fall apart? All of these skills that you're learning are then transferable, and you can teach them to the rest of your family. So I'm gonna skill sneak peek behind the curtain here. And if you'd like to do this for me, I'm ready, Sign me up.
Patricia Sung 08:50
I'm gonna go to Patriciasung.com/lighthouse and sign up, because the next group is starting September 14. Now I'll have a couple spots left. So that's you'd hop on in. Otherwise, we're waiting for the next round. But as we dive into this session in lighthouse, keep in mind that I'm only giving you the piece where I'm talking, I am not sharing what my client said, because I did not ask them like at the time I didn't know I was going to share this. So like I didn't check with them on that. So like I'm not going to include any part of them talking. So know that like you're only getting half the session. It's just the part where I'm doing the initial teaching and not into the coaching because I didn't ask them for permission to share that. So I like I will never put to my clients like personal business on the podcast unless I have discussed it with them. So like just keep in mind that I'm not giving you Part Two that has like where we really like dug in into the parts of they're like, Well what about this and what about that and making sure that the moms in there felt really solid on it before we walked away from being like yes, check. I got this skill in place. And the last thing I want to say before we dive into what happened during the lighthouse is that in order urge to get the most out of this time, I would recommend that you be in a place where you have like full attention to the give to this, like, normally, I don't say that about the podcast, but like this is like we're doing an exercise, like we're doing a coaching thing here. So if you really want to, like integrate this into your day, and how you think, if you can take a moment to like, slow down and feel a little more peaceful, like maybe after the kids are in bed, or like, you know, where you have a few minutes to yourself to like, really sink into this experience and figure out like how you're gonna apply it to you. Because it just won't be quite the same if you're just listening but not participating. So to get the full experience, if you can find yourself a comfy spot, get settled in where you feel really present in the moment, and you can give your attention to this exercise for the next few minutes here. Yeah, I think that'll be the way to get the most out of it. If you don't mind my recommendation. So yeah, this is a live coaching episode. So you get all the the real life notice. It's not scripted. So here we go. Well sneak peek into my small group coaching lighthouse that is starting next week. And I hope to see you in there. The reason I chose boundaries today is that generally speaking, I've just noticed a theme that most of us are very much like, like sponges when it comes to other people's emotions and problems and struggles, which from a strength side makes us super empathetic, and like great friends. And we're able to identify with people and really make them feel comfortable and seen and welcome. So like it's not, this is not a bad thing. Where I think it becomes a struggle bus is when we don't know how to turn it on and off. And how when we're not able to
Patricia Sung 11:56
I mean for backup law,
Patricia Sung 12:02
but in summer, headed out about right, for lack of a better word, hey, let me check the video, if your things not working, let me know and I'll let them in. I just set the pop up there. And
Patricia Sung 12:12
for lack of a better word, it feels like
Patricia Sung 12:14
a lot of us are sponges when it comes to emotions. And what I've learned over the last year in therapy and doing my own coaching is that we are able to control that a lot more than we realize or think or no. And it goes both ways. So when you think about a sponge, a sponge is very good at absorbing other things. So if you think of emotions, like liquids, if you put a little bit of liquid on a sponge immediately, it's it's sucked up in there. But when the sponge gets oversaturated, then the sponges do not contain liquid, or in this case, for our analogy, emotions well, and they will leak out everywhere. So just like we are very good at absorbing other people's emotions, we are also very good at leaking out our emotions. So when we know that this is something that we do, in fact, have the ability to I don't know, I just I'm like I need more control. But it is a control that like we can choose when to turn this on and off. Like we can be empathetic when the situation warrants and we also can have our boundaries in place so that we are not leaking onto others. And we're also not absorbing things that don't belong to us. So what I'd like to do is go through a bit of a visualization in like thinking about how you want your boundaries to look. And then we're going to give it a metaphor so that you have something to hold on to, we can all pull together our analogy of what that looks like for us. And I'm not going to tell you mine just yet because I want you to have your own, like I want you to start from scratch, not use mine as an example. But I'll happily share that at the end if you'd like. And I've just found that the more that we can practice this boundary of our emotions that we are able to then turn it on and off when we want. So when you want to be empathetic and really sit with somebody and see them, you can and you also can have the boundary that it's not also now your problem. And like to me like this has been instrumental in how I do my job is that I can sit here with all of your big feelings and I don't take them on for me. I see them I hold them I welcome them, but I don't absorb them. So like I can hold space for you. And you feel totally safe to have all of your emotions and they're not much so that's been like a really The big, really big win. And it's something I've had to work really hard. Because I was very much a sponge up until probably like a year and a half ago. So yeah, that's what we're gonna do first. So if you are welcome to keep your camera off while I do this, if you want to turn it on doesn't matter to me. But we're all going to take a moment to think about how we want to envision our boundaries. And more specifically, like, in this specific case, I want you to think about emotional boundaries, because like you can use this analogy for anything. But remember, when we work on changing our brain, we have to get real specific. So we need to hone in on something because we can't rewrite our brain if we're being super general. So in this case, what I'd like you to think about is a recent time where you felt like your emotions were very much intermingled with someone else. So like, for me, I would think of this morning, my eight year old, we had a rough morning, when, like, I was absorbing his emotion, and he was and I was also leaking out mine. And you can if you want, you can just pick a One Direction two, it doesn't have to be a both way thing. Although I think it usually ends up heading that way when we're not regulated. But so if you'll just think for a second, remember, we have to find the place in our brain where that exists and how we felt in that moment, when it felt like we were absorbing somebody else's emotion.
Patricia Sung 16:35
And I think that'll be a little easier than
Patricia Sung 16:39
us imagining going to them, because that's more on them. So if you'll just sit for a second and picture when was the last time you felt like you were absorbing somebody else's emotions that you did not wish to absorb, but you were
Patricia Sung 16:56
and get real specific in that moment of
Patricia Sung 17:01
like imagining where you were, how you felt what they were saying. So that you can drop into that feeling. And we're not going to stay here longer bird, we're just lighting up that part of our brains, so that we know where we want to change. And if you can, if you got your camera on, you can give me a nod when you got that situation where you have clearly in your mind while you were absorbing someone else's feelings or emotions or worries or anger or whatever it was that they were dealing with that you did not want to hold on to. If your camera is off, you can give me a thumbs up with the little emojis or I will just assume that you're okay and trucking along. If I can't see you they'll give you like 30 seconds to find that time where you were absorbing somebody else's emotion that you did not wish
Patricia Sung 17:53
to absorb.
Patricia Sung 18:17
Notice
Patricia Sung 18:27
want you to notice the dissonance
Patricia Sung 18:27
like the difference between what you were feeling and and taking on their feelings. I want you to feel that uncomfortableness for about 10 More seconds and then we're
Patricia Sung 18:37
gonna shake it off
Patricia Sung 18:53
okay, when you feel like you got that moment in time where you have absorbed what you didn't want, then we're gonna get rid of it. Shake it off, sit up straight in your chair. If you need to do some bilateral movement to clear out that other person's look and go right ahead. Give yourself yeah, like any kind of movement you can do stretching like changing how you're sitting. Anything will kind of give to that if you are still feeling stuck in what those feelings are. Give me a like wave or a holler and we'll do like a little more clearing out before we so we can come at it from a place of neutrality instead of still in that yucky spot.
Patricia Sung 20:02
So now, what we're going to think about is, what do you imagine your boundaries look like? So we're going to give it an analogy or a metaphor, something that will clearly tell our brains exactly what we're looking for. So this could be, it can be like a space around you like a fence or a bubble or a forcefield. For some people, they have there's like, where like, almost like a skin. Like a layer of sand. Like, imagine, like, where is your? Where's your boundary going to
Patricia Sung 20:37
sit? Is it touching you? Is it within
Patricia Sung 20:39
arm's length? Like, I want you to have a feeling for like, how far out does it go? Some people like real big boundaries.
Patricia Sung 20:46
Some people are like, I'm cool in my little bubble. Just don't touch me. Some people are like,
Patricia Sung 20:51
hey, literally anything can touch me, it is not going to bother me. I don't care. So imagine for a moment like where is it located? Here, here, here, here, here, here
Patricia Sung 21:11
I want to make sure that you're comfortable with where that location is. So if you need to, like kind of play with it, like if you imagine it, it's out bigger, you imagine it comes in smaller, like Where's the place where you feel safe.
Patricia Sung 21:26
Inside the boundary
Patricia Sung 21:33
when you feel like you've got like a good distance so you don't feel too closed in it also doesn't feel too too wide open. Give me a nod or an emoji to let me know your you've got a good feeling of where the boundaries are gonna lie
Patricia Sung 22:11
now that you know where it's located, I want you to picture like, is it just around the sides of you? Is it in front of you? Is it behind you? Does it come up over your head? Is it below you? How How much does it cover? Like? Is it just a suit? Is your head fine? Like where does it exist in 3d, so not just how close it is to you but like, up down forwards backwards. Instead sit there for a moment and imagine so that all sides of you feel safe. Above below front back left right.
Patricia Sung 23:34
As you picture that 3d Next up and what kind of material is it made out of? For some people it's made of literally just made of your thoughts like you don't see anything. It's just the way that you think about it. For some people it will be a physical like thing you could touch like for some people it might be like a wetsuit, if you're wearing it. It could be a bubble. It could be a forcefield offense. So what does that material that it's made out of? And as you picture that material I'd like you to think about the qualities of it. So is it thick, is it thin? Is it hard like set like tangible or is it like is it like, you know, immovable like a salad or is it more malleable where you could like, fiddle with it and change it and move it? Does it have a color
Patricia Sung 24:56
can you see through it or is it solid?
Patricia Sung 25:08
Does it move? Does it sparkle
Patricia Sung 25:17
Is it always the same or does it change depending on
25:20
you
Patricia Sung 25:34
know what you just
Patricia Sung 25:35
sit here for again another 1020 seconds and just notice all the things about it that you can notice because again remember we're trying to write rewrite this place in our brain that has a super clear picture so that next time you want to imagine this you know exactly what it looks like what it feels like how it exists how it changes so you to really solidify in your mind all the different characteristics it holds and remember it it doesn't have to stay this way you can change it later. But for right now I want you to know like in this moment what are those boundaries feel like? And what are all the characteristics that come with it so that it's very easy to identify him?
Patricia Sung 26:51
Now that you have given it some characteristics and you've identified what it clearly looks like in your brain you've noticed its texture its movement, the material the color whether it's sparkly or more like Matt I want you to picture when you feel super safe and you feel really good solid inside what does that what did those boundaries look like now? So when you're feeling really good like picture yourself in a place that feels really solid really good sort of like some kind of happy memory and then you picture your boundaries up Do they still have the same characteristics or does the boundary now shift to fit your mood how you're feeling safe when you're feeling solid?
Patricia Sung 28:29
Now that you're in that solid place where you feel confident Okay, cool. You've really narrowed in on what does this look like? So it feels very changeable. So if I asked you tomorrow you will feel really like salad and being like okay, here's it looks like Patricia looks like this it feels like this it sounds like this it smells like this. It feels like this here's where it's located when I'm feeling really great
Patricia Sung 29:09
now I want to picture
Patricia Sung 29:17
walks up
Patricia Sung 29:25
once you picture somebody who's like not not a like somebody who's just like kind of irritating or like slightly annoying. Like we're not looking for any like traumatic entry here. But like you know the person who just kind of grates on your nerves, and they walk up and you've got your boundary up, you feel really good. And they see something that's slightly agitating. How do you picture their words interacting with your boundary where your boundary can keep them out? So whatever like minorly your repeating the thing they're doing how does your boundary react to that little annoyance tapping on the on it does it bounce off? Does it slide off
Patricia Sung 30:21
like splashed upon the glass and then like me slide down the side What's that picture of that like minor annoyance as it comes in how does your boundary with hold its integrity when this minor annoyance shows up
Patricia Sung 30:55
if you aren't you
Patricia Sung 30:56
can practice that a couple times when this minor annoying thing shows up how does your boundary keep you safe inside you're still solid you're still competent
Patricia Sung 31:13
How does your boundary interact or not? It may not do anything at all and your boundary may not have budged one bit or it may have you know, maybe it like bounces in and like shoots it off like a rubber band. How does your boundary deal with the minor annoyance?
Patricia Sung 31:46
No, I remove the minor annoyance and make sure that we're still really centered. In that good place where you're feeling confident you're feeling capable, you feel safe inside that boundary
Patricia Sung 32:04
and now we picture something slightly more frustrating, like a grumpy kid. Or a whiny kid shows up how does your boundary react to your slightly dysregulated child like I'm not like let's not go down like the full tantrum just like they're just kind of annoyed. How does your boundary react so that you can keep their feelings on the other side of the boundary and you're still solid and competent inside.
Patricia Sung 33:13
I want to notice how in our boundaries are not ignoring our child, we're still hearing what they need. And we're still offering to them support like what they need in that moment. But it's not negatively affecting us. So we're able to show up and still be our confident capable selves as moms even though they're struggling and we're able to offer them you know, either you know, consoled them or give them a hug or just let it roll off your back. If it's not like they don't need something from you like we're not ignoring them like boundaries aren't just like oh I pretend like nothing's wrong that's not what the boundary is the boundary is how do you still feel safe and solid inside your boundary while also interacting with other people so it's interaction not ignoring
Patricia Sung 34:31
notice noticed is flipped over to your kid shows up with something really great. They're really happy about something they're so excited to share it with you. As they enter the room. You still have your boundary app. How does your boundary interact with their happiness and their light and their excitement?
Patricia Sung 35:08
This is where we also want to choose that. out like where you're letting people in, like you might really want to let in that excitement and that wonderfulness that happiness. So how does your boundary allow them in while still taking care of you?
Patricia Sung 35:58
So now that you've clearly delineating, like, here's what my boundary looks like, here's how my boundary is keeping me safe. Here's what it feels like when I feel really good. Here's a how it interacts with good stuff coming in. How it can shift and change to allow what you want to come in. Because you can, you can also keep it outside if you want it to. But you're choosing how you want that good stuff to come in. Which means then you can also choose how you want the not so great stuff to come in. So we've practiced something minorly annoying, coming to the boundary, and what happens there.
Patricia Sung 37:03
So we're going to do one more. And then I'll talk with you individually, when you are picturing your boundary. And now your child is there, and they're very dysregulated. They're due to struggle by central Imagine your boundary, how are you going to care for them? And still keep their emotions? On the other side of the boundary, how are you allowing them in? So instead of it leaking, what are you doing to choose how those how you interact? How do you want to give them care? How do you want to support them, and allowing their emotions to be their emotions? Because your boundary can choose whether or not like what's entering and exiting. And you still get to be confident, capable, safe inside your boundary and care for them at the same time. What do you notice
Patricia Sung 38:30
how you want to like when when you're interacting with them in an dysregulated state when they're frustrated or they're yelling or they're sad or they're grumpy? What do you notice about you and your metaphorical boundary you've created that allows you to care for them and still be solid within yourself. Might you think about that for a couple of seconds?
Patricia Sung 39:21
Remember, you choose how the boundary modifies in each situation. So you can choose how it's going to function and not situation. Is there anything you want to give it? You can send your boundary extra resources if you need to.
Patricia Sung 40:05
We're going to circle back to our kids, okay, now, they've exited the room, one more time, come back to your boundary in the place where you feel safe, and you feel solid, feel good. It's protecting you. What else? Like, is there anything else you want to add to it? Or you want to modify now that we've walked through these different situations? Is there anything else your boundaries need? Do they need any extra resources? Do they need any extra energy? What do they need, so that they can support you in your interactions?
Patricia Sung 41:08
Now that you have this super clear visual. I want you to know that like you can continue to practice this metaphor. So like, if you're going into a hard conversation, you can mentally picture yourself. Okay, what does my boundary look like? What does it feel like? What do I notice about it? It could be that you remind yourself of that, like, maybe it's like during like getting everybody out the door in the morning is when you need to have strong boundaries because everybody's grumpy and half asleep and doesn't want to leave the house. Or they're maybe it's during the bedtime routine. Before you start bedtime, okay, where's what are my boundaries look like I put myself in that headspace of being safe and secure and solid. Before you enter the fray of that time, morning, tough conversation. Whatever's going on screen, you can continue to practice this. And you can continue to modify it. As you learn about like when you're using it, you can notice like, hey, I really need this to be a little more solid. Or I know that this needs some more energy to be sturdy. So I know before this tough conversation, I'm going to need to get myself a little more energy to go into that. Or, ooh, that did not go as I planned. Let me back up and see like what else I want to reassess or maybe I want like a slightly different image in my head to be able to deal with certain certain sandpaper people in my life. So you can continue to play with this. But this allows us to know going in what we want, because we already know what we don't want we want to focus on what we do want in those conversations or in those situations and sometimes it's not even specifically with another person sometimes it's just when we're by ourselves and we're thinking about the other people like if our kid goes off to school and it was a rough morning and then we sit there and think about all the terrible things that went on that morning like we can create the boundary and like with our own thoughts and be like okay brain right now we are safe we are solid we are confident we're okay, so we can be safe in this boundary we don't have to let all those thoughts in and swirl around
Patricia Sung 43:47
so questions
Patricia Sung 43:56
there any like specific situation you want to walk through? Like when we talk about smearing it around? Hollywood and you can stop screen sharing so that we can see everybody's faces bigger. Like when we talk about smearing it around. Is there a situation where like, can you help me smear this around in this situation because I know this is gonna be a hard one because we've got 20 minutes so I can knock out two maybe three shearings before we go So Mama if this is for you if lighthouse is for you started September 14. So go ahead and sign up at https://www.patriciasung.com/lighthouse and get on in there either before September 14 or before the group is full. Again, that's https://www.patriciasung.com/lighthouse and I cannot wait to help the one or two moms that this is meant to be for. Because I've only got a couple spots left. By the time I hear this there may only be one so come on, join in. This is a time to make a difference in not just your life but your family's life. Because when you take care of you. You are taking care of your whole family. All right. Hopefully I'll see you in my house next week, and I'll talk to you soon successful homework. For more resources, classes and community head over to my website motherhoodinadhd.com